To be honest, the impulsion of Leo that I had suddenly obtained was not an intellectual one, but an instinctive one. Since young, I always instinctively liked to be in control, especially of my emotions. Dr. Greene had told me back then that it was a coping mechanism in order for my childhood trauma. After all, the strong emotions that I had felt at the time of my mother's death had caused a monster to manifest inside me. In order to control myself, I must first control my emotions.
That was one of the reasons why I did not want to be romantically involved with Leo from the beginning.
Now that the familiar feelings I felt for Leo was gone, I seemed to have grown afraid of rekindling such a novel feeling within me again, and was therefore subconsciously repulsed. It was not that I hated L
