I didn't want to think about being alone, but I had no choice.
Being alone was my reality, but I had tasted what my life with Alpha Walker would have been like, and being thrown back into this reality was so much harder to bear now.
I was helpless again; I couldn't even see what he was doing this time and I couldn't stand sitting alone in the empty Packhouse so I went back out to walk through the forest.
I was refusing to acknowledge what was happening to me, or to accept the idea that it might actually be real.
It wasn't because I was angry, or upset - I just couln't let myself feel anything about it, because it would hurt me a lot to find out this had just been an illusion. I neeed to stay numb.
Whenever I thought of him... of Alpha Walker... my heart raced, because he hadn't been u
