My Ruthless Alpha

That voice

Ezra's pov

I felt my world fall apart when she turned to leave and knew I couldn't let her, I would never let her.

Everything in me screamed for her, I just needed her near.

“Wait! Don't run” my voice was rough and for a moment I feared I might have scared her but she stopped, making my heart race faster than humanly possible.

My body was on auto pilot, I don't know how or when I closed the small distance between us but I found myself stood behind her, and even that wasn't close enough.

So I pressed myself to her back, hoping and praying it wasn't too much for her. I couldn't help it, I had to touch her, feel her.

“Mate” the word fell from my lips effortlessly, like it was the most natural thing to say.

Everything fell away and all that existed was the warmth flooding me, the faint electric shocks through our thin clothing begging me to touch her.

And on instinct, I ran my hand up her arm, over the sleeve of her shirt and softly brushed my fingers over her marking spot, making her shiver.

A growled ripped out of me, the urge to sink my teeth into her neck and mark her mine making my gums itch to release my fangs for the very first time.

I felt her stiffen and before I could wonder whether I'd over done it and scared her off, she turned and greeted me with her vibrant green eyes and I swore I'd never been in love before.

“I'm your mate?” Her whisper made my knees shiver, making my hands itch to touch her again.

With one hand around her waist and the other on her cheek, I pulled her impossibly close and stared into the forests that called my Lycan home.

“Yes, you are mine” I growled, the words filling up all the emptiness left by Rowena.

Rowena…

That name made my heart drop, bringing back all the grief Jasmine’s eyes had taken away.

A stabbing pain of betrayal shot through my chest and my legs moved on their own, taking a step back, away from her warmth.

“What the hell are you doing?!” My Lycan growled at me but I couldn't explain the sickening feeling making bile rise up my throat.

Rowena

Her face, her voice, her touch, her essence, our bond. Memories leaving me weak.

Confusion and hurt clouded her eyes, wordlessly seeking an explanation for my sudden withdrawal and it pained me.

Yet I couldn't shake off the betrayal of my feelings for her.

Damnit! I had feelings for her.

I didn't know her, I just met her, but I couldn't imagine my life without her; and the guilt that came with those feelings broke me in unimaginable ways.

Clenching my fists tight, I turned sharply and left the diner. I couldn't bare it, I had to leave, now!

“TURN. AROUND. RIGHT. NOW!” My Lycan was fuming, but I couldn't do it, the crippling feeling in my chest wouldn't let me.

“Ezra! Ezra stop!” Lexie's frantic voice followed behind me, her hurried foot steps thumping loud against the ground.

“Ezra!” She screamed in my face as she came to stand in my way, refusing to let me run away from it all.

“Get out of my way Lexie!” I growled at her, the sound threatening even to my own ears but that elven defiance sparked in her eyes and she stood firm.

“No, not until you explain yourself!” She was angry, and I didn't have the patience to deal with her, not right now.

“I don't need to explain anything to you!” I growled again, trying hard to fight back my Lycan, who'd been pushing for control, scratching and scraping at the walls of the cage I'd put him in.

“No, you don't, but you owe it to her!” She growled back at me, her green eyes glowing as she pointed behind me, back to where I knew I belonged but the guilt had a tight grip on me and I just couldn't do it.

“Out of my way!” I warned, a rush of darkness erupting through me as my clenched hands frosted over.

The wind picked up around us and the sky darkened, echoing everything I was feeling.

“It's about Rowena isn't it? You're going to reject that girl because of Rowena” she said, her voice laced with confusion and shock, eyes still glowing in anger.

“Do not talk about her!” I yelled, taking a threatening step towards her but it didn't shake her, not even an ounce of fear shown on her face.

Her words stung, making me feel like I was betraying both of them, but I made a promise to Rowena, and I'd vowed to never love another. Not in this lifetime.

“You stupid, stupid Alpha!” She shook her head, glaring at me with watering eyes, denying the tears a chance to fall.

“You honestly think Rowena would want you to give her up? Give up your second chance?!” Her voice rose higher with every sentence and I felt my jaw clench, throat tightening.

“She would never want this for you! She would never wish this misery on you!” Her screaming was almost deafening and I was pretty sure everyone within a ten mile radius would have heard her if it wasn't for the cold wind blowing with a fury.

“You don't know that! You don't know what she would've wanted!” My growl was low and dangerous, I was out of patience, I needed to get out of here, away from everything, from her!

A sharp pain suddenly stung my cheek as my head turned to the side forcefully, and it took me a few seconds to realise Lexie had just slapped me.

“Lexie!” Brody's voice came from behind me but she just raised her hand to silence him.

“I know she'd want you to be happy!” Her tears now fell rapidly.

“Lexie!” It was a warning, one she couldn't care less about and I was at my wit's end.

“Yes, you lost your mate and nothing compares to that, but we lost her too!” She was sobbing, making my own tears fall as my heart broke over and over.

“We follow you everywhere, seeking vengeance and justice because we hurt just like you!” Her words were sharp but broken by her sobs.

“But it's never stopped us from living. I'm not saying discard her memory, because no matter how hard you try, you can't. I'm saying live for something more than killing, live for her, find joy again with her. She's right there!” Her words struck deep, she was right.

“She's human, being with me will only put her danger” I said, scrambling for an excuse to walk away, even though I knew that one was lousy because unlike before, I'm stronger, smarter. I can protect my mate.

“Bullshit! Rowena died her first time fighting dead ones…” my growl cut her off but she just glared at me.

“Shut up! That girl was out there defending not only herself but her friend as well with a stick against a dead one and she's still standing, don't make excuses!” She growled, causing my eyes to widen in surprise.

“What?!” I was breathless.

“She's the girl I was telling you about. She's strong Ezra, even if she might not know it. She's proven she can handle anything, a f*****g dead one! Not even our own survive against them!” She threw her hands up, making me sigh.

“Don't do this to her, to yourself! Rowena wouldn't want you to give her up, she'd want you to be happy. And if I know my best friend well enough, I'm positive she convinced the Goddess to give you a second chance at love” she said, a lot softer than I'd ever heard her.

“Ezra” the softest voice I'd ever heard called from behind me, quieting the storm with me.

I turned around and was met with the most unusual sight.

Jazmine stood a few feet from me, the cold wind looking like a slight breeze around her, gently blowing her hair.

But the most bizzar was how the black ice, I hadn't even noticed all over the parking lot, seemed to thaw at her feet.

How was she doing that?

“We can't hurt her, she's our mate” my Lycan said, having taken the opportunity to break free as I was still distracted by Jazmine.

“Are you rejecting me?” She asked, her voice small and broken, tears pooling in her eyes.

“No! Never!” My Lycan growled, closing the distance between us.

I held her face in both my hands, loving how soft she felt in my rough hands and she melted in my embrace, shivering from the contact, yet still, I couldn't shake off the guilt.

“I just need time, I lost my mate, she died and I.. I just… need time” I said, taking a step back even when my body screamed to not let go, never let go.

“Jazmine I…” I couldn't even form the words. How could I possibly tell her I was afraid?

Losing Rowena had scared me in ways I never thought possible. The thought of losing her too hurt so much I couldn't breathe.

‘Shut up! That girl was out there defending not only herself but her friend as well with a stick against a dead one and she's still standing, don't make excuses!’ Lexie's words rang in my head.

And she was right, Jazmine was much stronger than I could have imagined, and most of all, she didn't deserve this.

She didn't deserve me walking away, but she also didn't deserve my guilt.

Without another word, I turned and walked away, disappearing into the forest nearby.

“How could you do this!” My Lycan growled at me, fighting to go back to our mate but I couldn't let him.

“Go back and fix it! Now damnit!” He kept fighting but I just couldn't.

“If she rejects us, I will never forgive you!” He growled and disappeared into the back of my mind, out of reach, his anger the only thing I could feel.

Dropping to my knees as my strength failed me, I clutched my chest trying to suppress the anguish ripping away at my soul.

“Rowena, what do I do? How can I just forget you? What do I do?” I whispered to myself, hoping for some kind of answer, but I was alone, and she was gone.

“Jazmine” the whisper blew past my ears in a gentle breeze and I found myself frozen in place.

That voice, I knew it. It was tattooed into my memory, and no matter how much I tried to forget it, I could never…

Rowena