Unordinary Love (Book 2)

CHAPTER 5

"Truth is everybody is going to hurt you; You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."

Forever on Angel's Wings. 

      ***

Mara Santos.

We are all now here to my best friend's wedding.. Walang hindi masaya sa dalawang taong mag-iisang dibdib ngayong araw na 'to.

It's snowing in this botanical garden in Missouri, St. Louis United States.

Wala akong masasabi sa venue kundi sobrang ganda. It is my first time to see a winter wedding and I'm really happy na si Violet - ang best friend ko ang ikakasal naman ngayon.

This wedding is beyond perfect.. They say that this wedding is the wedding of the century. Usap-usapan na ito ng mga tao around the globe.

Mabuti nalang at exclusive lang itong wedding. Dahil kung hindi, baka kanina pa kami dinumog dito.

Ikaw ba namang ikakasal sa isang famous painter and famous multi-billionaire?

Of course dudumugin sila ng mga tao. At bago pa kami dumating dito kanina, napaka daming reporter, photographer at paparazzi ang nasa labas ng garden. They were all patiently waiting for us to come out of the garden.

"Hey are you okay? Nilalamig ka ba?"

Sweet na tanong ni Raven sakin tska ako dinampihan ng halik sa pisngi.

I gave her a small smile. Hindi ko alam pero sa mga nakaraang araw, nakapagtatakang tahimik lang ako than my usual kind of personality.

Deep inside, I know why I'm acting like this..

Because deep inside my heart, may hinahanap siyang isang taong namiss niya ng sobra.

At kanina ko pa siya hinihintay na dumating dito sa garden. Wala pa kasi siya pero ang kanyang kakambal ay nandito na kanina pa.

Narinig kong may tumikhim sa tabi ni Raven and it was none other than her best friend - Dra. Victoria Harmone.

"Are you really okay, Mara? Cause it feels like you're not even here."

Raven immediately nudge her best friend tsaka niya ito matigas na inilingan, yung asawa naman ni Dra. ay kita kong hinimas niya ang likod nito to calm her down. Nataranta ako sa loob loob ko pero hindi ko ito pinakita sakanila.

I fake a laugh. But it turns out to be a nervous one.

Napa palatak nalang ako sa loob loob ko..

"I'm just nervous. Hindi ko ba alam kung bakit, maybe kailangan ko ng ibigay itong gift ni best kay Hunter."

I excuse myself to them tska na ako umalis with Raven at my side.

"I'm sorry about that, babe. Medyo late lang ang humor ni Victoria lately. Just don't mind her."

Napatawa ako ng mahina. Because we both know that's not true..

Simula kasi ng ikasal kami ni Raven, duon na mas lalong umusbong ang pagsusungit or should I say, paghihinala ni Dra. Victoria sakin.

Pano ba naman kasi, kung hindi ako nag s-spacing out, ay nag g-gym lang ako all day kapag wala akong taping..

I'm doing that because I want my body to be tired everyday dahil gusto ko pag-uwi ko tulog agad ako.

I don't wanna think of that particular person who was messing with my mind and my married heart.

Raven on the other hand is just acting like she doesn't know a thing about what I felt. I know her and I know when she's just covering me up to her family and most importantly to herself..

Kahit papano ay nagpapasalamat ako sakanya dahil hindi niya ako pinepressure or even talk to me about this.

That's why I fell in love with her in the first place, because she was so understanding about everything, that I felt really bad because I think I'm cheating on her right now..

Nang malapit na kami sa dressing room ni Hunter, we saw Hero came out of her dressing room. Agad kaming nakita nito atska ito nagtatakbo samin ni Raven.

Nag high five silang dalawa at kitang kita ko ang ningning sa mga mata ni Raven habang naka tingin ito kay Hero.

Obviously, she wanted children. She adore them and love them.

Hero and I hugged each other. Pinanggigilan ko siyang hinalik halikan sa buong mukha niya. Ang cute kasi talaga ng inaanak kong 'to. Nakakapanggigil siya.

"Hello Tita Mara!"

"Hello,"

Na a-amuse na ni-rub ko ang smooth cheek niya.

"Is your mama Hunter inside?"

"Yes po, together with Tita Ninang Bellarose."

Biglang kumabok ang dibdib ko sa narinig. Pati organs ko nagwawala na din dahil sa kadahilanan na makikita ko na ulit siya.

"Let's go inside babe. It's getting cold in here."

I heard Raven spoke causing I to take a back by my sudden action. Paano masyado na talaga akong halata.

"Okay baby, thank you." Sabi ko.

"Sige po! Pupuntahan ko pa po si King Ryker!"

Sumaludo ito samin especially kay Raven, and my wife wholeheartedly salute back to Hero dahilan para mag giggle yung inaanak ko tska na ito tumakbo pabalik sa garden.

Pag apak ko palang sa dressing room ni Hunter, agad ng nag lapat ang mga mata namin ni Bellarose..

To my surprise, I greeted her with a nervous laugh.

She just smiled at me then look at Hunter saying she will just check if Arabella was there.

Hindi ko mapigilang malungkot at natahimik dito ng tuluyan na siyang maka labas.

Raven followed suit, mangangamusta lang daw siya kina Dra. Victoria at Echo. But I know that's not true.

"Are you going with me, babe?"

I heard Raven asked me.

"Ahm y-yes babe. Pero mauna kana muna. I'm right behind you.."

Nag beso kami bago na siya lumabas at naiwan kaming dalawa ni Hunter dito sa loob.

For a moment, we were just silent and when Hunter asked me if I was okay. I wanted to say I'm not okay because I am f*****g confuse to her effin Best friend!

But I just smiled at her.

"Yes of course. Ahm pinapabigay pala 'to ni best sayo oh.."

Nilahad ko yung isang box laman ang mamahaling relo sakanya.

"Her wedding gift. She hope that you like it.."

Nangingiti namang tinanggap ni Hunter yun tska agad na sinuot.

She really looks so happy..

"I love it!"

Napangiti ako sa nakikita ko kay Hunter ngayon. Ang aliwalas ng mukha niya, di tulad noon na lagi nalang siyang seryoso o kaya naka kunot ang noo.

This new Hunter suites her more..

"I'm happy for you and my best riend, Hunter. Please sana ngayon alagaan mo ng mabuti si best at mahalin ng buong buo.."

She sincerily said her regards to me.

"Oo naman. I wish the same thinh for you and Raven. But are you really happy?"

May na hint akong paghihinala sa boses niya kaya agad akong napatingin sakanya.

"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm happy.."

I'm happy.. Of course.

Hunter's mouth form and 'O' shape tska siya nag taas ng kamay sa ere na parang sumusuko.

"Ookay. I'm just asking though.."

"Sige na aalis na ako. Best wishes to you and best. Get ready parating na yung asawa mo.."

She stood up straight dahilan para mapatawa ako ng onti. She's really crazy in love with my best friend.

I turn my back on her and walk to the door.

"Alam mo akala ko talaga kayo na ni Bellarose ang magkakatuluyan.. I can see that you still has a feelings for Bellarose. Why can't you be with her? Why not her?"

Napatigil ako sa paglalakad at lumingon kay Hunter.

"Dahil hindi siya si Raven.. Si Raven ang pinakasalan ko at siya lang ang mamahalin ko habang buhay.. Masaya ako kay Raven.  May naibibigay siya na kahit kailan man hindi naibigay ni Bellarose sakin.."

I said acidly. Hindi ko mapigilang maging bitter hanggang ngayon sa ginawa ni Bellarose sakin. Hanggang ngayon, duwag parin siyang panindigan ako..

Hunter raised her eyebrow.

"And what is that?"

"Loyalty."

I said acidly tska na ako lumabas ng dressing room niya.

Hindi ko na kayang makipag-usap kay Hunter. Mas lalo lang sumisikip ang dibdib ko sa lahat ng pasakit at paghihirap na binigay ni Bellarose sakin.

Pumunta ako sa isang cage na may foundtain sa loob at duon ko na pinakawalan ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilang lumabas.

Napa hawak ako sa bibig ko para pigilan ang pag hikbi ko. Napa-upo ako sa isang bench kaharap ang isang malaking foundtain.

Hanggang ngayon, umiiyak parin ako ng dahil sakanya.. Bakit kasi binuhay pa niya ang matagal ko ng pinatay sa pagkatao ko.

Lahat ng parte ng katawan ko masakit. Dahil lahat ng parte ng katawan ko mahal parin siya..

"Maganda ang view lalo na kung naka ngiti ka."

I was taken a back at agad agad na nag punas ng luha sa mata ko. Tumabi si Bellarose sakin at binigyan ako ng isang kulay royal blue na hanky.

Lagi siyang may dalang hanky kung saan man siya mag punta.

Kinuha ko yon at pinunasan ang luha sa mata ko. I'm sure I looked like a clown right now dahil sa nagkalat na make-up sa mukha ko.

"You should be happy, duchess."

Lumundag ang puso ko ng marinig ulit yun sakanya. She glance at me then give me a weak smile.

Napa kunot noo ako ng parang may iba sakanya ngayon.

I absentmindedly touch her face with a scar that she covered with concealer.

Maingat niyang binaba ang kamay ko. Pinagdaop niya ang mga kamay namin.

"Your hand is cold."

She said then blow it with her hot minty breath.

"La Mia, Duchessa. Sarai sempre nel mio cuore, anche se la mia mente non ricorderà mai il mio amore eterno per te."

"Huh?"

Kunot noong tanong ko. I'm completely blown away by her sexy italian accent and the feeling she makes me feel.

Ngumiti lang siya sakin.

"Mas mabuti ng hindi mo malaman. Because I don't wanna break your heart again.."

Humarap ako sakanya at hinawakan siya sa braso.

"Bellarose, what are you trying to say?"

She gave me a smile and place a sweet kiss on my forehead. Ramdam ko ang pag hulog ng mga luha niya.

"Ti amo, Mi Amore. Forever on angel's wings.."

=====================================================================

Forever on angel's wings is the poem I wrote for her before.

Kanina pa malalim ang iniisip ko at hindi ko na nga napansin na ako pala ang naka salo ng hinagis na bulaklak ni Violet.

The whole gang is now smirking at me. Kaya naman napa tingin ako sakanilang lahat and when I found out that Bellarose has the second flower, my heart skip a beat when she solemnly smiled at me.

Everytime she smiled like that. My heart always skip a beat. It feels like my heart knows her owner..

When we get into the reception, hindi ko na muling nakita si Bellarose.

Dra. Victoria together with her wife already left dahil may aasikasuhin pa daw sila sa hospital nila dito.

While Raven stayed besides me.

"Babe wait lang ha? May itatanong lang ako kay Hunter."

Raven nodded her head.

"Go on babe.."

She pecked my lips, I almost react differently mabuti nalang at agad akong ngumiti sakanya.

I was going to pull out immediatelly sa pagka bigla ko sa ginawa niyang pag halik sakin.

I shake it off my mind and just search for Hunter. Madali ko namang nakita si Hunter dahil nasa may labas lang naman siya ng reception at may kausap sa phone niya.

Nilapitan ko siya..

"Belle, are you sure about your decision?"

Napatigil ako ng marinig yon kay Hunter. Nag tago ako sa isang pader na hindi kalayuan kay Hunter. Kausap niya ngayon si Bellarose sa phone at halatang nag-aalala si Hunter sakanya.

"Look, there's still time. Don't do it, it's not good for you. Okay, listen Belle. If it works at Carly, then it will work again this time. Did you understand me?"

They seems like they were having an argument. Gosh what's happening?

"I promise you that I will be there for you okay? And as a best friend of yours, I will say that don't f*****g do it. Hindi mo ba naisip na pwede mong ikam--"

"Best! Nandito ka lang pala! Kanina pa kita hinahanap!"

Agad agad kong tinakpan ang bibig ni Violet at nagtatakbo palayo kay Hunter.

Shit naman! Kinabahan ako ng bongga. Hindi ko na tuloy narinig ang sasabihin ni Hunter.

"Best, bakit?"

I fake a smile.

"Wala trip ko lang hilain ka. Tara sayaw tayo!"

Pilit kong pinasigla ang boses ko at hindi ko na hinayaang makapag react si Violet ng hinila ko na siya sa dance floor at nagsasayaw.

The next morning, Raven and I go back to the Philippines dahil may emergency nangyari sa mommy niya.

Kaya heto ako nagdarasal na sana maging okay na si Tita Alec.

Raven's mother - Tita Tricia said that it's a heart attack kaya agad agad kaming umuwi dahil nagimbal kami sa balitang iyon.

Tita Alec is a very healty person. Plus pa ang pagiging joyful niya at kung tititigan mo siya, parang wala lang siyang problema kumbaga.

Hindi ako makapaniwalang nangyari iyon sa napakabuting taong kagaya ni Tita.

Naawa ako ng makitang umiiyak na ngayon si Raven. Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit.

"Babe, hindi ko kakayanin kapag nawala samin si Mommy.."

"Shhh.."

I hush her then stroke her smooth hair.

"Wag kang mag-isip ng ganyan, babe. She will be okay. Si Tita Alec ata yun. She's a fighter babe you know that."

I pulled her closer to me. Nagsumiksik si Raven sa leeg ko at naramdaman kong humagulgol siya sa iyak.

I never seen Raven cried like this. She never cry though. Sa isang taon naming mag kasintahan, she always like this colected, calm and jolly person.

"Please don't leave me okay? I desperately need you by my side. Hindi ko 'to kakayanin kung ako lang, babe."

Parang hinaplos naman ang puso ko sa pagmamakaawa niya sakin.

"Of course babe. Hindi ako mawawala sayo. I promise you that remember?"

Hindi na siya nag salita bagkus umiyak lang siya ng umiyak sa balikat ko. Hinayaan ko lang siya habang hinahagod ang likod niya hanggang sa naka tulugan na niya ang pag-iyak.

Pag dating namin sa Pilipinas, agad kaming pumunta sa hospital ng mga Demidov kung nasaan ang mommy ni Raven ngayon.

Pag pasok palang namin, nanduon na lahat ang mga extended family nila at napaka daming matang naka tingin samin ngayon.

Tumayo ako sa gilid at hinayaang puntahan ni Raven ang mommy niya na wala paring malay na nakaratay sa kama.

Raven holds her mother's hand, she started crying while pleading her mother to wake up.

Tita Tricia side hugged her daughter and rub her back.

Pinigilan kong mapaluha sa nakikita ko sa asawa ko ngayon. Sobrang nasasaktan kasi siya sa nakikita niya sa magulang niya.

"Hey, do you mind if you accompany me to buy a coffee?"

Dra. Victoria barged in on me. Wala na akong nagawa kundi tumango at lumabas na ng hospital room ni Tita Alec.

Nang nasa coffee vendo na kami, she handed me one cup of coffee tska niya ako iginaya sa isang room na nabasa ko sa placard na naka paskil sa gilid ng room and it says on call room.

Pinaupo niya ako kaharap siya. I nervously take a sip of my coffee. Parang hindi ko kasi kayang salubungin ang mga titig sakin ni Dra. Victoria.

"Look, Mara. Don't get me wrong, I like you. Because you're such a wonderful lady and every charactaristics Raven would loved for a woman ay nasayo na lahat kaya ka niya minahal at hinarap sa altar."

Nag lakas loob akong salubingin ang kulay asul na mata ni Doc.

"But?"

I asked waiting for her to continue.

"I know that your heart is having an affair with another woman. I know that because I saw it and I felt it and I'm sure Raven knows that too dahil hindi naman siya tanga at mas lalong hindi siya manhid para hindi niya maramdaman ang panlalamig ng puso mo sakanya. Remember when I confront you before the wedding?"

Tahimik na tumango lang ako.

"I asked you and I beg you that, if you still not sure about marrying Raven. Then don't f*****g marry her.. But you did, so I think you're sure about her and your relationship with her. Pero parang bumaliktad ang lahat nuong bumalik ulit si Miss Bellarose Martinelli sa buhay mo?"

Nagsimula ng mag tubig ang mga mata ko habang naka tingin parin sa mga nanunuyang mga mata ni Doc Victoria.

"I want to kill you right now, you know that? But I won't and I don't want to do it for the sake of my frienship with your wife."

I gulped the lump in my throat as I felt my whole body shaking.

"I know everything about what happened between you and Miss Martinelli the day of Raven's bachelorette party in US. I know because Raven told me so."

My eyes grew bigger with that.

"Don't worry, because Miss Martinelli personally asked Raven for it. And of course pumayag siya, dahil gusto niyang patunayan sa sarili niya at sa puso niya na wala na talaga si Miss Martinelli sa puso mo kagaya ng lagi mong sinasabi sakanya. But I'm wrong,"

"Hindi niya pala ginawa yon para patunayan niya sa sarili niyang siya ang mahal mo, kundi gusto ka niyang maging malaya to choose between her and Bellarose."

Dra. Victoria mockingly laugh.

"And we were shock when we saw you walking down the aisle. But curse you to death, Mara. Because you made her think that she matters to you, that you really love her with all your heart. You made her believe for something that is not at present."

My lips are trembling because of crying in front of my wife's best friend.

"Believe me, Mara when I said that I f*****g want to kill you for hurting my best friend. And I want to brake your marriage with her the first thing I found out that you still loved your ex-girlfriend. But, I am begging you right now that please! Please don't leave her. Not like this.. She wants you to be there for her.. And she needs you because she loved you.. So much.."

Pumiyok si Doc Victoria sa last sentence na sinabi niya kasabay ng paghagulgol ng iyak naming dalawa.

"I maybe a d**k for saying this but Bellarose, owns my soul. And I'm sorry because I can't do anything to change that."

"But don't get me wrong because I chose Raven for a reason, Doc. I chose her because I know she makes me a better person. I chose her because I love her and I chose her because I want to marry her.. That's why I walked down the aisle to say I do because I chose her to be my home."

******

It's been 3 months now after the confrontation between Dra. Victoria and I.

And as a promise, hindi ako nawala sa tabi ni Raven. And her mother is now awake pero paralize parin ang kanyang kalahating katawan kaya hindi parin siya pwedeng umalis ng hospital. Pero napag pasyahan ng pamilya ng mga Nobles na ilipat siya sa Hospital nila sa US, para mas lalo pa siyang matutukan duon. At mangyayari na yon in just 3 days. Kaya heto ako ngayon at pina-finalize na lahat ng taping na meron ako para maging free ako in a few weeks dahil sasama ako sa US with Raven and her family.

And here I am, going to my taping this afternoon for my upcoming movie, my phone vibrates at my handbag so I pick it up the best I can dahil nagmamaneho pa ako.

I took a glance at it at ng makitang si Violet ang tumatawag naging excited ako.

Nasa US na sila ngayon ni Hunter at ang mga anak nila kaya sobra sobra na itong pananabik kong makita ulit sila.

Actually, 3 months from now, uuwi daw silang dalawa ni Hunter para i-celebrate ang papalapit na pasko dito sa Pilipinas.

And I'm really looking forward to that. Lahat kasi ng mga friends namin, halos out of the country na nag bukod after their marriage.

Ang naiwan nalang ata dito ay si Haven Raveira at ang best friend niyang si Olivia Olivarez na kapareho ko na ngayong Noble.

Kaya sobrang nakakalungkot ang nangyari. Lalo na ng malaman kong umalis na din sa bansa sina Arabella and of course her sister Bellarose.

The first month is so rocky for me dahil sobrang hirap ng wala ka man lang makausap sa mga kaibigan mo dati.

The second month, ay unti-unti ko ng natatanggap ang lahat. Pero hindi ko parin naman mapigilang isipin at mapanaginipan si Bellarose.

Actually, laman siya lagi ng panaginip ko.. Kaya para maiwasan ko ito ay sobrang nagpapaka pagod ako sa trabaho at kay Raven para matakasan ko ang mga panaginip na laman siya. Lalo na nuong marinig ko sa news na inout na niya ang desires niya sa b**m and she was looking for a submissive. Kagaya ni Hunter, pinublisize din niya ang paghahanap niya ng submissive. It hurts at first pero pinipilit ko talagang maibsan ito at sobrang pagpapaka pagod ang ginawa ko para lang makalimutan at wag na siyang mapanaginipan ulit. Pero wala talaga eh, pilit siyang pumapasok sa mga panaginip ko.

Sa lalim ng iniisip ko, hindi ko na namalayang hindi ko na nasagot ang tawag ni Violet sakin kaya dali-daling tinawagan ko nalang ito.

Isang ring palang, sinagot na niya agad ang phone at bumungad sakin ang boses ng best friend ko na sobrang namiss ko.

"Best are you free this week?"

Natunugan ko ang pag-alala niya sa boses niya. I know her too much.

"Best bakit? May nangyari bang masama?"

I heard her took a long sigh. Jusko kinakabahan ako.

"It's about Bellarose.."

Nagsimula ng tumambol ng malakas ang dibdib ko ng marinig ang pangalan ng babaeng laman ng aking panaginip gabi-gabi.

"W-what about her?"

Takot ang unang mababakas sa boses ko. Namamawis na din ang mga palad at nuo ko sa sobrang kaba.

"I think it's best that you're here.."

I gulp.

"Okay.. Okay okay. I'll be there in 3 days."

"No, we don't have much time. It's now or never, Mara.."

Napa pikit ako ng madiin sabay apak ng madiin sa stop pedal ng kotse.

"Okay. Is everything ready?"

"Yes, Hunter's jet is there now right now. Don't worry, they already know you. Nanjan na din si Mr. Wendel Wave para hindi ka masundan ng mga paparazzi jan."

"Okay, best."

Papatayin na sana niya ang tawag ng pigilan ko ito.

"Yes?"

Naiiyak na napa kagat labi ako.

"Is she okay?"

Naibulong ko sa pagitan ng pag hikbi ko.

"Shhhh, she's going to be okay, best. Tahan na, nasan ka ba ngayon? Ipapa sundo nalang kita kay Mr. Wave."

Tinignan ko yung sign ng street sa labas at sinabi sa best friend ko ito.

"He's now on his way, baby." Rinig kong sabi ni Hunter kay Violet. Satingin ko tinawagan ito ni Hunter.

"Okay he's on his way daw. Try to calm down, best. Tahan na okay?"

Napatango tango ako na kala mo nakikita niya ako ngayon. Suminghot ako at huminga ng malalim.

Ilang sandali lang ay may nag stop ng sasakyan sa harapan ko. Kita ko namang nagmamadaling lumabas si Mr. Wave na may dala pang malaking payong.

Lumapit siya sa kotse ko at binuksan ito para sakin. Inalalayan niya ako hanggang sa maka pasok ako sa back seat ng SUV na dala niya.

"Hello, best? Nandito na siya. Wait lang, kailagan ko lang tawagan yung manager ko."

I ended the call then call my agent. And as expected, he got mad but he has no choice but to reschedule my taping.

Minutes of driving, Mr. Wave accompany me to get into Hunter's jet. Napansin kong mas maliit ito compared sa sinakyan namin dati nuong pumunta kami sa Negros Occidental.

Habang nasa loob ng plane, wala akong tigil sa pagdadasal na sana, maging maayos si Bellarose.

I'm worried to death!

Ano kayang nangyari sakanya? Gosh.. Kinakabahan ako..

Few hours has passed but I still couldn't find my sleep. Nag-aalala talaga ako sakanya.

I was thinking of different kinds of situation.. Paano kung na aksidente siya? Or nabugbog or what?

Napahinga ako ng malalim na hininga at pilit kinalma ang sarili ko.

I shook those horrible thoughts away from my mind.

Paglapag palang ng eroplano, meron na agad naka abang na isang SUV.

"Don't worry, Miss. Violet makes sure that no one will know that you're here. She said, your secrets safe with her, always."

Natawa ako ng ginaya pa ni Mr. Wave ang boses ni Violet.

He open the door on the backseat then we drove off to where Bellarose is, I think.

I was in anticipation habang tinatahak namin ang daan papunta sakanya..

I really hope you are okay, duchess..

We made it to the high-in hospital in Washington DC. Mr. Wave said that the floor was on the 50th floor.

At habang nagpapalit ang number sa taas ng elevator, ganon din dumadagdag ang kabog ng dibdib ko.

Napa hawak ako sa dibdib ko kung nasaan ang located ang puso ko.

I took a long sighed.

"Calm down heart."

Napasinghap ako sa gulat ng bumukas na ang pinto ng elevator. Iginaya ako ni Mr. Wave palabas at naglakad pa kami ng onti hanggang sa tumigil kami sa harapan ng isang pinto.

Mr. Wave reach for the door knob and open it.

Ang mga tao sa loob ay agad napatingin samin. I missed all of them but the only person I came here with is laying on the hospital bed.

Nagsimula ng mag tubig ang mga mata ko ng makitang ang daming apparatus na naka lagay sa katawan ni Bellarose.

Napa hawak ako sa bibig ko ng maka lapit pa ako ng tuluyan sakanya.

"Anong nangyari sakanya?"

I said almost like a whisper. My eyes clued to her beautiful pale face.

Mas lalo siyang namayat ngayon at sobrang putla ng katawan niya.

Walang naglakas na loob na mag salita. Our friends are all silent.

Tinignan ko si Violet.

"Best, anong nangyari?"

May lungkot sa mukha niyang lumapit ito sa akin at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. Hinagod niya ang likod ko dahil nagsimula na akong maiyak.

"Can you guys left us for a while?"

I heard Hunter said to our friends.

"Yes of course. Girls let's go. We'll order something."

I heard Queenie said to Hunter.

Nagsilabasan ang mga kaibigan namin. Naiwan nalang ay ako, si Violet, Hunter at Arabella.

Nasa tabi ni Bellarose si Arabella at hinihimas nito ang buhok ng kapatid niya.

"I'm sure you're wondering why is she here. Because, Bellarose is completely healty. But there's just one problem."

Arabella spoke. The words she was saying ay parang nahihirapan siyang ilabas sa bibig niya.

"Anong problema?"

Tanong ko at lumapit ako sa tabi ni Bellarose at hinawakan ang malamig niyang kamay.

Napa pikit ako ng maalala ko ang sinabi niya habang nasa botanical garden kami nuong kasal nila Hunter at Violet.

Your hand is cold.

Maingat na inangat ko ang kamay niya tska ito binlow ng hangin making it warm.

"Her brain is not healty. Our mother also has this disorder. This happens before, the first time was with Carly. Then now, you."

Napa tingin ako kay Arabella na naka tingin lang sa kakambal niya.

"Bellarose told me about her episode coming back again nuong biglaan siyang umalis sa kasal namin."

Hunter intervene.

"Episode?"

"Yes. She suffered from schizophrenia. It's a mental disorder."

I gasped.

"W-what?"

"A schizophrenia is a mental illness known as psychosis, which is a person cannot tell what is real and what is imagined. They tend to lose touch of reality. The world may seem like a jumble of confusing thoughts, images, and sounds."

"But, with Bellarose condition, it's pretty much rare compared to those people who have this kind of mental illness. She on the other hand, knows that the episode happened. Instead of imagining the world she created, she's dreaming it instead and she's aware of her dreams.."

"Nuong nangyari ito dati sakanya, imbis na burahin ang memory niya tungkol kay Carly, I let her try the one thing that ever work with my disorder. And that's with b**m. Naging okay naman siya after that with the helps of other therapy and medicines."

Parang lumulutang ang utak ko sa mga sinasabi ni Hunter.

"Bakit hindi natin uli i-try yung therapy sakanya? Ang sabi mo naman, nag work ito sakanya diba?"

I asked desperately.

"We already tried it.."

Malungkot na napayuko nalang si Hunter.

"And it didn't work.."

Napaiyak na ako ng tuluyan. I can feel my heart shattering because of that.

"Meron pa naman sigurong another way of treatment diba? Hunter i-try nating lahat ng pwedeng i-gamot sakanya please!"

Hunter didn't react and so with Violet and Arabella.

"Arabella ano? Wala na bang ibang way?"

Nagsilaglagan ang mga luha sa mata kong tinignan si Ara with hope on my eyes.

Tinignan ko naman si Violet na tahimik na umiiyak habang tinitignan ako.

"Violet! Please tell me meron pa bang ibang way!"

"Atsaka kung alam niyang nangyayari ang mga panaginip niya, bakit hindi parin siya gumigising?"

Hysterical na tanong kong nagpalipat lipat ng tingin sakanilang tatlo.

"Because.. She chose to live in her dreams of you.. Dahil ang sabi niya, kahit sa panaginip lang makasama ka niya then she'll be happy to die with it."

Napahagulgol nalang ako ng iyak sa narinig ko kay Arabella. Nanginginig ang buong katawan kong lumapit sa kama ni Bellarose at napayuko nalang sa balikat niya.

"W-why d-did y-you l-let her do i-it.."

"Because she doesn't want to forget her love for you. Nuong una, she decide na gawin yung therapy where they will erase everything about you in her memory. But later on, she told me on the phone that she change her mind and told me that she doesn't want to forget everything about you dahil ang sabi niya mas gugustuhin na niyang mamatay kaysa parang hindi ka lang nangyari sa buhay niya. Because Mara, kung hindi gagawin ang therapy sakanya ngayon, she will die. At yun ang unti-unting nangyayari ngayon." Hunter said with an heavy heart. I know dahil nakikita kong nahihirapan siyang sabihin yun sakin.

I gasped out of air. Hindi ako makahinga sa mga nalalaman ko.

Hindi kinakaya ng puso ko lahat ng mga bagay na pumapasok sa isip ko.

"And we can't do everything about her decision because she made us promise that whatever happens, her decision remain as that. She doesn't want anyone to change that. And she signed the DNR which means allow natural death, she knows that this will happened."

My hearts stop because of that. I just stare at Arabella with a shaky lips.

Nag j-jumble jumble na ang utak ko sa mga nangyayari..

"Do the therapy."

The three of them looked at me.

"What? Best, yun ang gu--"

Tinignan ko si Violet na punong puno ng determinasyon.

I will never let her sacrifice her life just for me. No! Never ever!

If that's what she want, then I will say NO to that! Paano naman ang gusto ng mga taong nagmamahal sakanya?

Paano ang gusto ko?

"I don't care! Just do it! Damn it! Wala akong pakealam kung mawala lahat ng ala-ala niya tungkol sakin! Ang mahalaga mabuhay siya! Mabuhay lang siya!"

Napadausdos ako sa sahig at duon umiyak ng umiyak..

"Mabuhay lang siya please.."

Violet hugged me tight. She was crying besides me.

"Please I'm begging you, mabuhay lang siya. Please.."

Violet looks at her wife.

"Do something!"

Arabella and Hunter looks at each other tska sila tumingin sakin.

"f**k the DNR."

******

Habang ginawa ang mga preparasyon kay Bellarose. Nandito lang ako sa labas ng kwarto niya at pinagmamasdan siya.

Every now and then, her body will twitch and her eyes slowly opened a bit.

Arabella stood besides me. Tahimik lang kami habang naka tingin kay Bellarose.

"Thank you.."

She said with sincerity on her voice. Hindi ako nag salita, naka tingin lang ako kay Bellarose.

Natatakot kasi akong alisin ang paningin ko sakanya.. Dahil alam kong pagka tapos nito, hindi na niya ako maaalala at makikita pa.

I'm letting her go this time.. Dahil ayoko na ulit mangyari ito sakanya ng dahil lang sa akin.

Ayokong mawala ang isang taong minahal ko ng higit pa sa buhay ko..

Hanggang ngayon pa naman mahal ko parin siya. Dahil kung hindi, hindi ko iiwanan ang babaeng pinakasalan ko even if how much she needs me right now.

"I want you to know everything, Mara.. Because Bellarose doesn't want to tell you the truth about her leaving you for Sierra."

I didn't react. I just let her talk. I just don't know kung mahalaga pa bang malaman ko ang totoo ngayon.

"She didn't leave you just to be with Sierra. She leave you for a reason. And that reason is, kinailangan niyang mamili between you and her employees and their families."

This time ay napa tingin na ako kay Ara. But her eyes still focus on her sister.

"I'm really sorry dahil hindi ka na niya napili at naipaglaban sa kamay ng parents namin. It's because our mother threaten her na kapag hindi siya nagpakasal kay Sierra at iwan ka, sisirain niya ang buhay mo at buhay ng pamilya mo."

What?!

"And Sierra needs Bellarose's help that time. I think you know na that time bumabagsak na ang kumpanya nila. And our parents never want to help them unless they will give their only daughter to marry my twin sister. Kaya walang wala ng nagawa si Bellarose kundi gawin ang gusto nila.."

Ang bigat ng bawat hiningang pinapakawalan ko sa nalalaman ko ngayon..

"They got married that year and Sierra and Bellarose both agreed that they're just doing it for their own safety. Dahil hindi pa kaya nuon ni Bellarose na bumangon, that's why we left Philippines and go back to Italy. 2 years after, Sierra and Bellarose got divorse."

Every word that Arabella was saying, it was like my heart is breaking over and over again.

Tinignan ko ang kabuuan ni Bellarose.

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin, Bellarose?"

Anya ng isip ko habang naka tingin kay Bellarose.

"Believe me when I say that she love you.. so much, that she's willing to sacrifice her own life just to be with the delusion of you and her being together again.."

I felt Ara's hand on my waist. She hugged me sideways.

An idea came inside my brain..

"Ara?"

Tawag ko sakanya.

"Hmm?"

"Can you translate what I will say in Italian?"

Ara looked at me.

"Of course."

Inaalala ko yung sinabi niya nuong nasa botanical garden kami.

"Sarai sempre nel mio cuore, anche se la mia mente non ricorderà mai il mio amore eterno per te."

Ara knotted her eyebrow.

"That means; You will always be in my heart, even if my mind will never remember my eternal love for you."

Napangiti nalang ako ng mapakla sa babaeng mahal na mahal ko.

"Damn you, Bellarose. Oh--"

I let out a none humorous laugh and wipe the tears that fell down my face.

Pagkatapos ng therapy niya, pumasok na kami ni Arabella sa room niya. 

Ngayon ay nabawasan na ang mga apparatus na naka lagay sa katawan ni Bellarose. Ang mga nanduon nalang is the dextrose on her hand, oxygen on her nose and the heart monitor.

You're alive..

Napangiti akong umupo sa side bed niya. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya atska ito dinaop sa kamay ko.

I missed how her warm hand touch the palm of my hand..

"Remember the poem I wrote for you when I felt your coldness towards me? Nararamdaman ko na nuon na mawawala ka sakin. That's why I wrote and recite it to you before anything else."

"And I know, pag gising mo wala ka ng maaalala tungkol sa akin. But let me recite it to you again for the very last time na maghihiwalay ang mga landas natin."

Nagsimula na namang bumuhos ang mga luha sa mata ko.

I smiled as I caress her smooth skin on her cheek..

"On Angel's Wings you were taken away, but in my heart you will always stay. I will hear your whisper in the tallest trees, feel your love in the gentle breeze. And when I find I miss you the most, inside our beautiful memories, I will hold you close. Cause for me, you are an Angel watching over me with the comfort and happiness you bring, you embrace my heart and hold it close. Forever on Angel's Wings."

I reach for her soft cheeks and give it a tender kiss. As I close my eyes duon na ako tahimik na umiyak ng umiyak.

"I love you. Always.." I whispered with a smile on my face.

Tumayo na ako at tuluyan na akong umalis palayo sakanila at palayo sakanya.. 

******