Racing Hearts (De Silva Series: 2nd Generation)

Chapter Twenty One Part 2

Chapter 21 Part 2

Ruth

Monday, after office hour, sumama ako kina Ma’am Farrah sa burol ni Sir Jules. Sumakay ako sa kotse niya. Kasunod namin ang iba pang empleyado ng Bangon Pilipinas. Pagdating sa bahay, kakaunti pa lang ang taong nakikiramay. May mga mesa at plastic na upuan sa labas. Bukas ang double door. Maliwanag sa loob dahil sa mga ilaw na nakatayo sa magkabilang dulo ng ataol ni Sir Jules. Ang kanyang puting pinaghihimlayan ay kumikinang sa tama ng ilaw. Namumutiktik ng mga bulaklak sa kanyang paligid at may maiingay na sisiw ang nakalagak sa ibabaw ng mahabang kahon.

Sinalaubong kami ng maputlang asawa ni Sir Jules. Her hair was ponytailed. She was wearing a white simple t-shirt and jeans. Ngumiti siya nang makita si Ma’am Farrah at nakipagbeso. Pinakilala ako sa kanya ni Ma’am. She gave me impassive or cold stare. The same look when people heard my name and looked at me. Ang pagkaiba sa kanya ay may kaunting lamig ang hatid sa akin. I didn’t know if it is okay to smile at her but then I still did and shook her hand. The hand of the silently weeping widow.

Katabi namin siya nang silipin namin sa ataol si Sir Jules. When I saw him there, he looked different. The usual stress that I always saw on his face decreased. He is wearing a Barong from his usual wrinkled polo before. His face is a little whiter, it is because of the makeup. Tumatak siya sa akin bilang isa sa pinakamasipag at matapang sa Journalist na nakilala ko sa industriya. I read some of his works. His words are direct and his articles are well-written. But sometimes, very personal. I may not know him so well but he deserves to be respected.

In-offer-an kami ng pagkain. Umupo sa tabi namin ang asawa ni Sir Jules, kasama ang ilan pang Journalists. They talked about all the good and nice things of Sir Jules. May nakakatawa. Napapangiti ako. They didn’t shade him. It felt like they never cared about it at all. Then, his wife started to say something about his last assignment. Her smile evaporated.

“Excited siyang simulan ang assignment na ‘yan. Iba raw ang pakiramdam niya. Kilala niyo naman si Jules, kapag nakatunog ay talagang pinupuntahan ang subject para makasiguro.”

Ma’am Farrah stared at his coffin. “Bago ‘yan, madalas siyang pumunta ng library at archives. I saw him once, reading old articles. Ken talked to him frequently. Pero no’ng magsimula na siyang bumyahe, para na siyang may sariling mundo.”

Bumuntong hininga ako at yumuko. The widow started to sob again. Inakbayan siya ni Ma’am Farrah. Walang nagsalitaan sa aming lahat. We, I felt her pain through her low sobs. She didn’t mind even her hair and face were ruined or faded, she let her pain out from her heart.

Tumingin ako sahig na nakita kong medyo makalat. Mga empty bottled water, juice at balat ng kendi. Pero walang pumapansin. Uminom ako ng tubig at hinawakan ang plastic bottle nito.

Hindi nagtagal ay umingay ang burol. Mayroon nang tumatawa, masayang nagkukwentuhan at nagkukumustahan. Panay labas din ng mga tray ng pagkain galing sa tingin ko ay kusina. Dumami ang tao hanggang sa mapuno ang sala ng bahay.

Magkatabi pa rin kami ni Ma’am Farrah malapit kay Sir Jules. Tinitingnan ko ang mga taong bagong dating at sumisilip sa kanya. May ilang napalingon sa akin, natigilan at saka ako babalewalain. Binalingan ko si Ma’am kung napansin niya pero busy ito sa kanyang kausap. Tahimik lang ako at naghintay na makaalis kami.

Patago kong sinilip ang oras. And I dismissed it abruptly when I heard Ma’am Farrah called Leonard Montevista. Pag angat ko ng mukha, nakapasok na si Leonard. Kausap ang asawa ni Sir Jules. He was with an old man, pareho silang nakasuot ng pormal. They both wearing a black corporate suit. Walang kurbata ang kay Leonard. I saw him held the widow’s hands and tapped her shoulders. Nilingon niya ang ataol, lumipat ang mata niya sa akin. I gulped for unknown reason. Nagulat ako sa pagdating niya. Ang ilang empleyado ng Bangon ay natahimik din sa pagdating nila.

Ilang minuto siyang nakatayo sa tapat ng ataol. Kasama ang asawa ni Sir Jules. Hinahaplos ng asawa ang salamin sa tapat ng mukha ni Sir habang nakatingin sa kanyang tabi sina Leonard. She lost him.

“Tara na,” narinig kong ay ani Ma’am Farrah.

I looked at my watch again. Sinukbit ko ang bag at saka tumayo. Lumapit si Ma’am sa kanila para makapagpaalam. Binalingan ako ni Leonard. He smiled at me and I smiled, too.

“Going home?” mahina niyang tanong.

I felt the presence of my bosses at my back. Tumango ako kay Leonard.

“I’ll take you home.” He added.

I opened my mouth for a protest. Nilingon kami ni Ma’am Farrah at hindi ako nakapagsalita. Inunahan ako ni Leonard. Nagpaalam ito sa asawa ni Sir Jules. I felt his hand on the small of my back. Ma’am Farrah’s questioning eyes washed on me and on his hand, too. Leonard lightly pushed me until we were out of the burial and out of their sight.

Tahimik kong pinapanood si Leonard habang tumatawa. Nawawala ang mata niya kapag sobrang saya ng tawa niya. Nilingon ko ang ilang kumakain sa restaurant. Bumuntong hininga ako at inabot ang baso ng tubig.

“Alam ng lahat kung anong posisyon mo sa office. Pero noong itulak mo ‘ko palabas, para kang excited na makauwi. Dinamay mo pa ako.” I sipped in my glass.

Tinaas niya ang isang kamay. Umayos ng upo. Tumikhim bago nilapag ulit sa mesa ang kamay nito.

“To be honest, hindi ko alam na ganoon ang naging kilos ko. Medyo nag-panic ako nang makita kong pauwi ka na. Kararating ko pa lang. Ofcourse, gusto ko ring makipagkwentuhan sa ‘yo. I am not close with my employees except with you.” He sipped on his wine and stared at me through the rim of that glass.

Kumurap ako. Napagkwentuhan lang namin iyon. Pero hindi ko malimutan ang tinging binigay ng ibang tao sa amin. He may not be a major shareholder in Bangon but he is still one of the bosses. Para sa akin, kaibigan ko siya. And Prejudice is rampant everywhere.

For a moment, my mind froze. Ano kayang tingin sa akin ni Leonard? A whore’s daughter, too? Kapag tumatawa siya, napapangiti ako. Kapag may sinasabi siya, nakikinig ako. Magaan siyang kasama. Pero may ibang tao ring magaling magtago ng tunay na nararamdaman. I hope I can catch the real him when he’s not looking at me. I wish I can assess him. But that’s not really necessary. Everyone can hold on themselves according to what they really feel.

After dinner, we talked about anything while walking near his car. Work, Politics, Weather, Government and even our favorite Authors. Ewan ko, pero medyo nagulat ako nang sabihin niyang nabasa na niya ang “Wuthering Heights” ni Emily Bronte. One of the Bronte Sisters. He made me stared at him for one full minute and then smirked at the realization. And we ended up comparing greatest romantic movies.

Pumunta kami sa isang bar. Uminom nang kaunti. Pinagpatuloy namin doon ang kwentuhan. We were sitting in front the Bartender. Not caring about the loud music and drunk people behind us. His thigh touches mine but I didn’t mind. His shoulder touches mine but we only laugh. I disregard the idea that he is getting closer and closer with me. I couldn’t picture him like that.

Then, he put down his goblet and stared at it. “Have you ever thought of getting in a relationship?”

I smirked. May pakiramdam akong nadadala na ako ng iniinom. “Now? Uh, no. I’m too busy.” Tunog ‘Z’ na ang huling syllable na sinambit ko.

He chuckled and looked at my side. Namumungay ang mata ni Leonard.

“After grad and secure a job, will you want to get into a relationship?”

I scoffed. I probably know what he meant. Pero dahil may impact na ang iniinom ko sa katawan ko, I still let it go and laugh to him.

“Why not? But my job will be demanding. Ewan ko kung may magtangkang manligaw pa sa akin.” tinaas ko ang baso sa tapat ng bibig ko. I stared the elbow of the Bartender. He’s busy shaking that stainless tumbler.

“I’m sure meron.” He said with a husky voice.

“Hmm, ewan.” Sabay tawa ko.

Pakiramdam ko ay uminit ang paligid. Kinulong ko ang mukha sa magkabila kong palad at binalingan si Leonard. Tinitigan niya ako nang matagal. Inirapan ko siya at humarap ulit ng derecho. Parang mas lalong lumakas ang maingay na tugtog. Mas pumaibabaw ang hiyaw ng mga tao. Kahit ang um-order ng inumin ay naririnig ko pa.

Then, my chest thudded loudly. I became uncomfortable with him. My palms sweats and I couldn’t look at him anymore. I felt like I already withdrawn all from his jokes and cool stares. I became uneasy. I checked the time and my bag consecutively. May binulong siya na hindi ko naintindihan. Hinawakan niya ang nanlalamig kong kamay. I looked up at him, questioning him. He moved like a tornado and he snapped a kiss on my lips. It was fast and light kiss. I almost didn’t feel it. But I got stunned and my lips parted a little while staring him.

Tiningnan niya ang labi ko. Hinihingal siya. Nilapitan niya ulit ang mukha ko, tinulak ko ang dibdib niya. I bowed down. Uminit ang mukha ko sa hiya.

Like as if he was mesmerized, he cleared his throat. “I-I’m sorry, Ruth.”

Sinarado ko ang labi ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot ko sa kanya. Tahimik kong inubos ang inumin at hindi na siya nilingon.

Nang sumakay kami sa kanyang sasakyan, naroon pa rin ang awkwardness sa pagitan namin. He didn’t talk, he didn’t even try his luck. The tension tone done when we reached my apartment. Inalis ko ang seatbelt at binuksan ang pinto. “Thanks, Leonard.” I planned to break the ice but I think I failed. It gets worse.

Pagsarado ko sa pinto ng sasakyan, mabilis na bumaba si Leonard. Nilapitan ako. He was nervous. His face was red.

“Ruth. I-I am really sorry,”

I sighed and smiled lightly. “Kalimutan mo na ‘yun.”

I hope we can do that.

He shook his head. “I’m not sorry for the kiss. I’m sorry because I . . . I didn’t tell you that I wanted that kiss.” He sighed heavily and stared at me.

Namilog ang mata ko. Tiningnan ko ang madilim na kabahayan sa paligid namin. They can hear us. They spot us. And we’re talking about that shocking kiss.

“Leonard,”

“I’m not blind, you know.”

“What?”

“I saw your withdrawal after I kissed you. Like as if, I got the end of our friendship. Pero gusto kong mas higit pa sa kaibigan. I want to be your official boyfriend. I want you to be my girlfriend. I like you, Ruth. I really like you.”

Pagkamangha at gulat ang naramdaman ko sa pagtatapat ni Leonard. He looked desperate, nervous and it felt like those traits are killing him inside. Matagal kaming nagtitigan sa labas. Hindi ko alam kung paano siya sasagutin nang hindi umuuwing bagsak ang balikat. Pero mapipigilan ko ba ‘yon? It is impossible to assure him that I like him too the way he liked me.

I gripped on my bag tightly. I shifted on my feet and felt giddy to go inside my home. What words can I say?

I gulped and closed my eyes. “Leonard,”

He suddenly held me on my shoulders. “It’s okay. Don’t answer me right away. I can wait. I can wait until you’re ready to answer me. There’s no pressure, Ruth. I want you to feel what I feel, too.”

Sinarado ko ang bibig at hindi na kumibo pa. He left me stunned and a bit relax.

No, pressure and he’ll wait.

Kumaway siya sa akin bago pinaandar ang sasakyan. Pinanood ko siya hanggang sa mawala ang pulang ilaw. Bumuntong hininga ako nang tuluyang makalayo si Leonard.

Antok at pagod ang sumunod kong naramdaman. Nakatayo ako sa tapat ng pinto at hinahanap ang susi nito nang mag ring ang cellphone ko. I blinked my eyes when I saw ate Deanne’s name.

“Hello, ate?”

“Ruth? Where are you? Can you come here?”

Kumunot ang noo ko at tumingin sa labas na para bang nasa malapit lang si ate Deanne.

“Bakit? Nasaan ka?”

She sighed heavily. She sounded problematic.

“Café. Kailangan ko nang makakausap. Pwede mo ba akong puntahan? Kung . . . hindi ka lang naman busy.”

Tiningnan ko ang oras. I bit my lip and think.

“Sige pupunta ako. Nasaan ka?”