Kabanata 16
1116 Words
I was looking at my brother with a blank expression. Though I'm really nervous for whatever he's going to tell me, ganoon pa man ayaw kong ipahalata iyon sa kaniya.
Nang bumaba ako kanina sa lobby ay halos nasa lalamunan na ang puso ko sa sobrang kabang nararamdaman. Jin was sitting on the couch at the lobby; looking at me. Watching me. Napapalunok na lamang ako hanggang sa tumayo siya at yayain ako paalis. We were in his car nang bigla siyang tumikhim.
"Kuya, what's-"
"Stay away from him." Malamig na sabi ni kuya.
Mabilis ang ginawa kong paglingon sa kaniya. My brows furrowed. "Why?" I asked confusedly.
"Stay away from Kydel, Yuk-"
"I know you're talking about him, but why?" Tanong ko habang mariing nakatitig sa kaniya. Tumiim ang mga bagang ni kuya Jin. Napapikit na lamang ako nang mariin bago inilipat ang tingin sa labas ng bintana sa tabi ko. Marahan akong sumandal sa upuan.
"He's not good for you."
"Who do you think is good for me? Yung lalaking napipisil niyo dating maging partner ko?" May inis sa boses na sabi ko. "How can you say Kydel isn't the right man for me?"
"We just don't like him for you."
I chuckled sarcastically. "Mom likes him. I don't know about Dad and Yona. But surely, that idea isn't from them. Ayaw mo ba si Kydel para sa akin dahil ex-boyfriend siya ni Trisha?" I heard my brother gasped. I looked at him, waiting for his answer. Pero wala akong nakuhang kahit na anong sagot maliban sa muling pagtiim ng kaniyang mga bagang. Kaya naman ibinalik ko na lang ang tingin sa labas ng bintana ng sasakyan. "Anyway, don't worry dahil nasa plano ko na ang iwasan si Kydel. It's not because I'm thinking about what you guys might feel. It's because I'm thinking about Brooklyn and our friendship."
Pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon ay wala na akong narinig pang kahit anong salita mula kay Kuya. He just fell silent while driving. I did too, while watching outside the car's window.
Ilang sandali lamang ay nasa parking lot na ulit kami ng condominium. Tahimik akong lumabas ng kaniyang sasakyan pagkatapos ko siyang bigyan ng halik sa pisngi. Nang makarating sa condo ay tuloy-tuloy akong nahiga sa aking kama. Nakahiga lamang ako habang tahimik na nakatulala sa kisame. I slowly closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh.
Fuck.
Why is everything so hard? I shouldn't have told my brother I was planning to avoid Ky. Ang totoo'y wala na iyon sa plano ko because I'm choosing my happiness. I'm choosing Kydel. Myself.
There was only one problem. I just need to talk to Brook and explain to her that falling in love is inevitable especially when you truly fall in love. Hindi mo mapipili kung sino ang taong mamahalin mo, kusa iyong mararamdaman. I could've loved someone older, or someone younger. I could've fallen in love with the same gender. And that'll be okay, because that's love. Kaya naman alam kong maiintindihan din ni Brooklyn ang kung anong mayroon kami ni Kydel once I explained it to her. That was the problem. The only problem. Not until my brother and his stupid ego, or pride, or whatever it is, came into the picture.
Nakakainis. Minsan ko lang piliin ang sarili kong kaligayahan, bakit may kapalit pa rin?
I hate it.
My phone rang. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling of my room. The ringtone stopped. Seconds later my phone rang again. I sighed before reaching for my bag to get it.
"Mom," I answered the call.
"Did you talk to your brother, Yuki?" She asked.
My jaw tightened. I sat up on my bed and stared blankly on the wall. "Yeah," I answered coldly.
"Yuki, I know it's hard because I can sense that you really like Kydel. But maybe your brot—."
"He's just bitter. Hindi niya kasi matanggap na ang ex-boyfriend ng girlfriend niya ay—."
"It's not like that, Yuki," putol ni Mommy sa pagsasalita ko. "He's just worried about you. He thinks Kydel's using you to get even with him. Alam mong siya ang dahilan kung bakit nagkahiwalay si Trisha at Kydel."
"Then that's his problem. He shouldn't have stole Trisha from Ky. And Trisha shouldn't have left Kydel if she's a good girlfriend. Ibig sabihin lang niyon pareho silang may kasalanan kay Kydel. So why does it feel like I'm the one who needs to sacrifice my happiness just for them to avoid Kydel's wrath?"
Mom sighed from the other line. "You don't understand, Yuki. Posibleng ginagamit ka lang ni Kydel."
"No, he's not."
"You're not sure about that, anak."
"You're also not sure about him using me." I retorted back.
Mom kept sighing before she ended the call. I defended Kydel from my mother. I should be feeling guilty but I don't. I'm not.
Hindi magagawa sa akin ni Kydel ang bagay na iyon. He's been so kind, and sweet, and loving, and...all.
My brows furrowed. I looked at my phone, staring at the call history. Especially at my mom's name.
Hindi nga ba? Hindi nga ba niya magagawa iyon?
Pero bakit ang bilis niyang makaramdam ng pagmamahal sa akin?
Damn.
—
Days like this are the ones I truly wants after some troubled nights of not having proper sleep. Just a sunny weekend, no school, no big plans. Nothing to do. Except for a date with your best friend at a coffee shop.
"What's your plan for summer break?" Brook asked after taking a sip on her iced coffee.
"I don't know." That's true. I don't know. I haven't thought about it. "Maybe I'll go home to spend my whole vacation with my family."
Actually, Yona's going to Korea with our cousins. Kuya Jin's taking Trisha to Hong Kong. Mom and dad's planning to go to Spain. Kaya hindi ko alam kung sinong pamilya ang makakasama ko sa bahay nila Mommy kung sakaling doon ko balak iburo ang sarili sa loob ng ilang buwang bakasyon bago muling magsimula ang klase.
"How about you Brook?"
She took another sipped on her iced coffee before answering. "Dad said we're going to the states for some family bonding, especially now that kuya Kydel's here."
Of course. They should do that. "That's great."
"Yeah, but Kuya said he'll just stay for two weeks with us. He's going back here to spend the rest with a special girl. I don't know who that special girl is. I just wished she was kind." Mahabang sabi ni Brooklyn bago muling itinuon ang pansin sa iniinom nito. She's smiling.
Will she smile like that once she knew it was me?
- Writer
