Moonlight Kiss

36. Second Thoughts.

[Jade]

After a few days, the effects of the witch's poison wore off and I was almost back to normal. I had missed a lot in that time and the gang was quick enough to fill me in on everything.

I was so shocked when I discovered Nana's treachery, I wouldn't have believed it if her interrogation and death hadn't been recorded by the security cameras.

I felt so bad that Mason had sent Sasha away but I knew that it was for the best, somewhere in her mind she would blame her aunt's death on us and who knows if she would follow her aunt's footsteps and try to take revenge on us.

The most important shock of all was the new baby, Liya gave birth to a beautiful girl and I couldn't stop carrying her. I felt sad that I wasn't present for her delivery but I was glad that she was born healthy.

She was named Geraldine after our great-grandmother and she was so beautiful. She had her mother's dark hair and she took her father's facial features but she had green eyes like mine and that was my greatest joy.

She looked like a regular child, if we hadn't noticed her antics during her mother's pregnancy, we would have suspected her to be a normal child, but she was far from normal.

Her father was a black-eyed warlock and her mother was a beta werewolf, we all could not wait to see what she would become once she attained puberty.

She was half witch and half wolf, the rarest of creatures, a hybrid.

"Geraldine is so beautiful, I carried her all day, I didn't want to put her down." I gushed about her to Mason.

"Jade, I'm glad you're okay." He grabbed my hand and pulled me down to sit beside him on our bed. "I was so scared, I thought I was going to lose you."

"Oh, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, we just have to accept our fate, we have many enemies but as long as we're together, we'll be fine." I hugged him.

I did not want to accept it but during that period, I was also really terrified that I would never be back to normal again, I thought I was really crazy, turns out I had only been poisoned by a crazy vindictive b*tch.

I could call her that now, she was dead.

"Yes, as long as we're together but I promise to keep you safe from now on, I know that I've exposed you to danger a lot of times but it's all going to change now." He said resting his head on my chest.

"You don't have to feel guilty Mace, it wasn't your fault and I always feel much safer when I'm with you," I assured him.

"You know." He started, raising his head from my chest. "I keep imagining you heavy with our child, I cannot wait for us to have a baby of our own." He said and rested his hand on my flat belly.

My heart skipped a beat when he said that and I looked over to my nightstand guiltily, if he were to open the second drawer to the last, he would find my birth control pills.

Mason really wanted to have a child and the pack needed an heir, I just couldn't bring myself to admit that I didn't want the same thing, I didn't think I was ready to become a mother.

"What is wrong babe, are you okay?" He asked me in panic.

"No, no, everything is fine," I told him and changed my expression. "It's just, don't you think it's too early for us to have a child?"

He looked shocked by my question and he kept quiet for a while before he responded.

"Jay, don't you want to have children?" He asked me quietly.

I suddenly started to feel hot and my palms began to feel sweaty. We had never had this discussion before and I felt cornered for some reason.

"No, no, no, that's not what I mean, I mean yes, yes... I would love to have children, I love children, it's just… I'm just worried that this isn't the right time to have children b-because of everything that's going on." I sighed, I could see the disappointment clear in his eyes and it hurt me that it was directed towards me.

"If you're worried about our safety, we will be fine. I promise you, Sirius has gotten confirmation from the witches, soon we will locate the cult and be rid of them forever. I will never let anything happen to you or my child."

"I know and I trust you, I would love to carry your child," I said and pulled him closer to me.

The words someday resounded inside my head as I kissed him.

"I want to have an army of children with you." He said and kissed me deeply.

That night my sleeplessness had nothing to do with a nightmare, I spent the night thinking about my life and the future that I had with Mason and I couldn't help but think of what my life would have been had I not met him.

I would have gotten into NYU, I would be studying English literature and also taking a course in creative writing, I would have gotten an internship with a popular publishing house and I would have published a book before that year ran out.

Instead, I was with the love of my life, planning to have children and living basically for him, ruling as Luna by his side.

It really wasn't so bad but I couldn't help but feel a bit unfulfilled. Mason had fulfilled his dreams of taking over the pack and unifying all wolves but I had achieved nothing.

The worst part was the fact that I had no one to talk to, Liya felt I was living the most fulfilled life any wolf could wish for, my mother thought being in love was enough and my brother thought that too, only Sirius was left but he felt duty was more important than anything else and as Mason's mate, it was my duty to live for him and the pack.

***

"Luna good morning." The servants greeted me as they came in to tidy the room and prepare my bath.

I guess my life wasn't all that bad, I just needed to find a way to tell Mason that I wasn't ready to have a child yet and I would be fine.

I couldn't imagine leaving Mason, our connection was forever and I didn't even want to leave him, I loved him too much to ever do that.

After my bath, I went down for breakfast. I was pretty quiet throughout breakfast and since I didn't have anything much to do I decided to visit my old apartment.

"I want to go to our old house," I announced suddenly at the breakfast table.

"Okay, that's not a problem as long as you please take at least one guard with you." Mason said and I smiled at him.

"Why would you want to go there?" My mother asked. "I already sent someone to collect your drugs." She informed me.

"I know, I just want to get something from my old room," I said and she nodded.

After breakfast, a guard drove me to my old apartment. I didn't really know what I was looking for but I knew that whatever it was, I would find it here.

I stood outside my old house and different memories flooded my mind. I was dressed in nice boyfriend jeans and a cute crop top, I wore a bucket hat on my head and I had some shades on because it was sunny outside.

"Can you wait here, I just need to be alone," I told the guard as he wanted to follow me in.

"I'm sorry Luna, I have strict orders not to let you out of my sight." He said and I sighed.

I was also tired of the constant having to look over my shoulders, it was really wearing me out because I was a very private person but I knew that he wouldn't disobey his Alpha, so I came up with a compromise.

"How about you come in with me, you can stand outside my door while I look for what I need privately," I told him.

He wanted to disagree but then he seemed to consider what I said and he agreed.

"But if I hear any strange sounds, I'm coming in." He said entering the house.

"Fair enough," I said and followed after him.

The house was clean because mother made sure it was attended to every month, the furniture was all covered with white clothes and all the windows were locked.

It was so dark inside but it wasn't a problem to me, I just chanted a spell into my palms and let the glowing globe of light float above me in the air.

Entering my old room again after a long while was more emotional to me than I thought it would be and I was glad that the guard had agreed to stay outside.

My bed creaked as I sat at it and I screamed before he decided to come in.

"Just my old bed."

All the stuff that I didn't take with me when I moved in with Mason were put into a stack of boxes and I began to search through them.

I stopped when I saw my old notebook and I took it out, taking a seat on my creaking bed again, I winced when it made a sound before flipping the pages of the book.

My eyes began to water after reading the first two pages of the book. I had forgotten how much I loved to write, ever since I became Luna, I hadn't had time or inspiration to write at all, I had been too busy studying spells and trying to be a better witch.

"Are you okay in there, Luna?" The guard's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," I told him and closed the book.

I continued going through the pile and I kept on finding things that reminded me of my writing passion. I found a collage that I had made which contained extracts from famous quotes from my favorite books.

I was overwhelmed, this was what I was looking for, I was looking for this part of myself that I had lost in the process of being with Mason.

I was about to leave when I decided to pick up my old journal, I flipped through the pages and one particular entry caught my eye.

—In five years, I want to have published or be in the process of publishing my first book, 'The Daydream.'