Torn Between Two

Six

Justin

I remember the first time I laid eyes on Hannah Montgomery. She was walking through the school hallway looking awfully confused and slightly terrified. She must be the new girl I thought to myself. I always looked out for the new kids that transferred to our school. Kids can be rotten and some of the kids in my school liked to single newcomers out.

We all have known each other since we were peewee size and they figured new meat was a target. They either saw them as threats or wastes of space. To me, everyone was equal. I didn't care about being cool. I never acted like an arrogant condescending jerk. All I wanted was to have good karma on my conscience.

My brother, Cole, on the other hand, is and always will be a pretentious prick. I was the leader, mom had always said, whereas my brother was the follower. He always needed to be the center of attention and considered himself gods gift to the world. If his friends asked him to jump, he would answer by asking how high. He also has a mean streak and immense anger issues. He loves to start trouble along with his squad of morons. I believe trouble should be his middle name, along with asswipe or d**k. Whichever you choose will suit him just fine.

Knowing my brother to be an asswad and purposely knocking into Hannah at lunch pissed me the hell off. Then came the fact that he slapped her book right out of her grasp making papers fly all over. I stood there swearing that he was going to get the beating of his life when we got home. I've told him countless number of times to reign in the asshole within him but does he ever listen to me? Little did I know that Hannah would beat me to it that afternoon. My brother had a nice shiner for days after what he put her through. I still admire her bravery. However, the dust soon settled and from there on out we became the three amigos. We were thick as thieves, until we weren't.

Meeting Hannah and having befriended her was awesome and everything felt right. However, life for me couldn't stay that perfect and then came the gnawing feelings I began having whenever Cole got too close to her. His meaningless nickname for her, sweet cheeks, pissed me off to a large extent. I don't know what it was between them, but the more and more friendly he became with her, the more I wanted to deck him. I was starting to become jealous of my own brother.

I was honestly jealous of him when we dressed up on Halloween and I went as Batman when my brother decided to be the Joker and of course Hannah was Harley Quinn. Joker and Harley were inevitable both in comics and in front of my eyes that night. The rage I was feeling was palpable but I was too scared to unleash my feelings so I kept it bottled in. The feelings wouldn't let up the more I tried to push them away so I decided to confront my brother.

"What's the deal with you and Hannah?" I enter his room without knocking needing to know right now what is happening between them. I need to rid myself of this misery.

"The hell do you mean? Like do I like her like romantically? Hell no. I mean don't get me wrong she is awesome and pretty damn beautiful but I don't see her as more than just my nerdy sister." He says but I can't help but not believe him.

"Then why call her sweet cheeks all the time? Why be all touchy feely with her? There must be some kind of feelings you have for her. Just tell me." I say becoming more irked.

"Holy shit." He says with a smirk and eyes wide.

"What?" I say.

"You f*****g like her! I knew it! Yes! Took you time to come to the realization. Look bro, tell her how you feel because I am pretty sure she likes you too. Don't know why though since I am so much better than you but whatever." He says all smugly and I flip him off.

"f**k you." I say before storming out.

"Tell her bro!" He yells down the hall and I slam my door.

I still didn't believe a word Cole said. It was cemented in my brain that he liked her and she liked him so I did what I did best. I buried my feelings for her so deep that I refused to acknowledge them anymore until the day I caved and craved her so bad that I did the unthinkable and dragged her under the bleachers and kissed her. I swear I felt sparks between us and I never wanted to let her go until my fears took over and I told her it was all a big mistake. I couldn't allow her to see just how bad I had f****d up so I remained determined to keep it filed as a regret.

I decided to then pursue Mandy, the obnoxious girl who was obsessed with me. Don't ask me why I did it. All I know was that idea was a complete regret. Hannah was never a regret and I dug myself into such a s**t hole I didn't know how to fix anything. Little did I know that she actually did feel something for me, seeing her hurting whenever I was with Mandy, yet I still kept on burying myself deeper and deeper in s**t. I continued to hurt her. I continued to be a d**k. I kept on and on until Cole had to snap me back to reality and show me the error of my ways.

"Hannah's mom texted me. She's afraid Hannah will bail on tonight's senior dance. Can you do me a favor and come to your damn senses already? Why keep on with Mandy when you have a great girl waiting for you to take your head out of your a*s? I don't understand you bro. She's important to me and you, but my own brother, keeps hurting her more and more!" He says while standing against my doorframe.

"Butt out of my life Cole." I seethe.

"Not when you are being a complete shithead to the one person that you know damn well has made our lives better. If you don't come to the realization that you both are fated to be together then she will become someone else's and it'll be too late. You either find your balls and go after her or watch her be with someone else. It's your choice." He says adamantly and my mind begins to turn and s**t becomes to click and becomes clearer. I don't want to ever see her with someone else. s**t I know I am merely an 8th grader but when you know something is just destined, you need to follow your damn heart and f**k conventional thoughts. I go to say something but he cuts me off.

"If I go to this dance and she isn't there then I am going to go get her. She doesn't need to be all alone while every one of us is celebrating. I'm out." He says and walks off down the stairs and out the door.

After that night of me finally realizing what I wanted, everything has been perfect. I have the girl of my dreams. Nothing could go wrong.

Absolutely nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Have you heard from Hannah since yesterday?" I ask Cole while he is busy annihilating aliens in the new Xbox game he bought himself. He checks his phone and shakes his head.

"Nah bro. Nothing. Why? She never called you last night?" He asks pausing the game.

"No and that isn't like her. She always calls or when she doesn't she'll send a text. I've tried texting but it goes unread. Think she's avoiding me?" I say feeling a bit defeated.

"Why would she be avoiding you?" He asks while making his way into the kitchen with me following right behind him.

"I may have said the L word yesterday while we were at the beach in the ocean." I say and he does a double take.

"You told her you loved her? Bro, that's big. What made you say that?" He asks and I shrug.

"Maybe because it's how I feel about her? I don't know man but something is up. Yeah sure she said it back but what if she regrets it? What if I just threw my heart onto the table only for her to smash it? I'm beginning to freak the f**k out." I say running my hand through my hair and checking my phone once again. Still unread. f**k.

"Bro. Relax. You know Hannah. She wouldn't do that. I'm sure she'll text or call soon. Maybe she's busy with her mom. We did carry a lot of stuff up to her apartment from their mini vacation. They're probably unpacking and s**t. Or hell maybe she lost her phone at the beach. Did you ever think of that one? Do you remember her having it when you dropped her off?" He asks while pouring himself some Corn Flakes.

Shit.

Maybe she lost it.

Damnit.

"You know what. You're right. I am simply overreacting. She's fine. We're fine." I say to myself and head back upstairs. It is only later on that evening I try and call her only to hear an automated message on the other end.

"The number you are trying to reach is no longer in service. Please hang up and try again or press 0 for the operator."

"The f**k?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three Years Later

"Yo! s**t for brains! I'm not being late for school again while you yank your s**t off again in the shower. Get your a*s out and let's go!" I yell while banging on the door to the bathroom which Cole has been occupying for the past half hour. I don't give a rats a*s what he is doing but if it is keeping me from getting to school on time then he'll be stuck hitching a ride. I'll leave his a*s here. Not in the mood for his s**t.

First day of Junior year and I needed to be out of this house fifteen minutes ago.

"Cole! Let's go!" I yell once again and I hear footsteps storming down the stairs.

"Finally bro. Done jacking off?" I say grabbing an apple and my car keys. I take a bite as I walk to my car with Cole on my heels.

"f**k you. Unlike you, I didn't see any action at last night's end of summer party at the twins house." He says and I roll my eyes. The end of summer parties that are thrown are epic. Our boys, Dean and Sean, also known as the Infamous Twins, know just how to throw a rager without getting in trouble. Their parents are always away on business so they are the kings of their domain.

"Yeah ok Cole. Sarah Dawson was all over you bumping and grinding and you're gonna stand there and tell me that she didn't put out?" I eye him skeptically and I can see the smirk gracing his face.

"Ok so maybe I did see some action but it wasn't any good action you know what I'm sayin? She's a ten appearance but a -10 in the bedroom department hence me having to take care of myself this morning." He says and I nearly choke on my apple. I toss the pit in the garbage can and open my car door. Cole hops in, I start my car and rev the engine and take off for school.

Hamilton High.

Home of the Sharks.

"You do your summer reading?" I ask Cole and he acts like Deadpool with both hands on his face and his mouth forming a big O. Still the arrogant sarcastic prick.

"f**k me. I forgot. I'll do that s**t tonight or whenever." He says and hops out of the car when we pull into the school parking lot.

"You better do it Cole or Coach will bench you." I say slamming my car door. Cole and I made the baseball team so keeping our grades up and our heads down away from any sort of drama is all our Coach asks from his team. If Cole f***s this up for himself then he can kiss pro ball goodbye.

We head towards the school building when Jackie tackles me and I manage to catch her in my arms. Her smile is bright and her eyes are dancing with the shitload of feelings she has for me. Yeah, she's my new girlfriend for the time being. I've gone through girls like candy ever since she walked out of my life. Never was quite the same after she up and disappeared without even a f*****g goodbye. The automated f*****g message still plays on loop in my head till this day.

"Hey baby." Jackie says pecking a quick kiss on my lips.

"Hey." Is all I can say. I might want to rethink things with us. She's great and all but I don't want to be held down this year. She is too deeply into me and I just like the quick adrenaline rush when I am with her. I'm a pig. Sue me.

"Listen. We gotta talk you and I." I say to her but all she hears is blah blah blah because at the same time, her entourage pulls up and Cole sees his opportunity to be Mr. Smug. I decide against staying and witnessing his idiocracy with the girls and make my way into the school. I walk towards my locker and shove my book bag in it when I hear one of the football teams star players, Brock Hudson, yelling across the hall.

"Heads up girl!"

I watch as the football flies through the air and nearly takes someone out. Luckily the quarterback, Cody James, catches the ball before whoever it is got hurt.

"You asshole! Make sure the coast is clear before you f*****g throw the ball! We ain't on the field dumbass!" Cody yells at Brock and Brock's face reddens. I shake my head and begin to pick up my pace to get to class when I see Cody head to whomever almost got hit. Something tells me to slow down and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Damn girl. Sorry about that. I apologize for my teammate being a complete moron. I don't think I've seen you here before. Name's Cody." He says to the girl with long brown hair. Her back is to me and something seems familiar but I shake it from my system and continue to walk until the voice slaps me in the face and I turn around to see who it is.

"It's okay, really. I'm...." she says before the anger within me rears its ugly head and I answer for her.

"A girl you do not need to get to know. She's nothing but a snake. She'll chew you up and spit you out." I seethe taking a good look at her after how long has it been?

Fucking three years?

She looks at me and her eyes blink rapidly probably trying to comprehend who I might be but we both know she recognizes me because I sure as s**t haven't forgotten her. I'd never forget her.

I don't even wait for a response from either of them as I turn and walk away not needing to be anywhere remotely near her. She once was something to me, but she is nothing to me now and I will gladly show her how much of a nothing she is every damn day of the year. Guess I have a new agenda for my junior year.

Make Hannah Montgomery's time here a living f*****g hell.

She should have never come back.