Torn Between Two

Sixteen

I wake up nestled up in a warm body. A body that makes my heart feel things that I never thought it would. His face is buried in my back and I can feel his soft breaths as he sleeps. I don't want to pull out of the embrace but my bladder is screaming for the bathroom. I gently release myself from his hold and grab his shirt that is on the floor, quickly throwing it on, and making a beeline for the toilet. Once done, I check myself in the mirror and see that my skin is slightly glowing and the memories of last night replay on loop in my mind.

We lost our innocence to one another.

I never in a million years would have thought I would lose my v-card to Cole. Cole was my pain in the a*s best friend back in the day. He was like the brother I never wanted yet felt like the missing piece of me. I should have seen him for more than he was. I allowed Justin to continuously hurt me when Cole would do everything in his power to keep me smiling. He was pretty much there through thick and thin.

He was always there for me in my times of need. He was there as a shoulder to cry on, a person to talk to, a friend to hang out with. Come to think about it, the night he wound up sleeping over and taking a good long look at him while he slept, is when I knew things between us would eventually shift. Maybe I was scared to ponder that possibility. Maybe I was too blinded by the hurt from Justin to see that Cole was the brother I was always supposed to be with.

Has he felt this way about me the whole time?

What about when I was with Justin?

How did I not notice any of this?

I brush my hair, then my teeth and rinse with Listerine. I wash my face and walk out of the bathroom feeling a bit more refreshed to come to find Cole sitting up, leaning against my headboard, eyeing me like I am his prey. His chest is on display, with his six pack looking mighty enticing.

"You look really good in my shirt sweet cheeks." He says as he licks his lips. I feel my cheeks redden and walk over to my bed, placing myself under the covers and bring myself to straddle his very n***d lap. His morning wood is hitting my most sensitive spot and I moan. I slowly move my hips loving the friction it provides while he holds on to them. His eyes pierce my soul and I lean down with my hair cascading down my face. He pushes it back and I place my lips on his and kiss him slowly. I bite his bottom lip and he growls, further tightening his hold on my hips.

"I need a c****m babygirl so I can slide you down my length and watch you f**k me." The words he says ignites my insides and I slowly climb off of him so he could grab himself a c****m. I have ever seen a guy leap out of bed soaring towards his pants to grab a c****m before in my life. Daring myself to be brave with this fine specimen before me, I halt him before he goes any further with wrapping himself.

"Can I?" He looks at me, smirks, and hands me the c****m. I examine it but place it down momentarily while reaching for his hardened length and move my hand up and down making him hiss. I watch as it gets even harder and am loving how what I am doing is making him feel. I see a drop of liquid on his head and immediately lick it off of him.

"f**k, Hannah. I'll come if you do that again." He says in a husky tone but I love it and continue to lick, not really giving a damn. I then proceed to open my mouth and take him all in. At first I gag but I gradually figure out what to do so that it won't continue to happen, and soon I feel him reaching the back of my throat. The sounds coming from him turn me on more and more and I can feel myself dripping. I move my hand to my core wanting to relieve some of the tension but he grabs my hand stopping me.

"Wait baby girl. It'll feel so much better when I sink you down onto me." More wetness pools and I move my head up and down his damn near huge d**k, my tongue working overtime and when I work him faster, I can feel him tense and then a blast a liquid warmth comes shooting out and I welcome it. I always thought it would taste weird but it isn't as bad as I had imagined.

I swallow everything he has to give and he slips out of my mouth still semi hard. His eyes are hooded and darkened with l**t. He slams his lips onto mine, definitely tasting himself, but he doesn't care.

He lies down and pulls me on top of him, raising his shirt over my head and tossing it to the floor. He grabs the c****m and tears into it, sliding it on his length and positions himself at my soaked entrance.

"f**k baby girl you are drenched. Soaked for me and only me." I nod my head, biting my lip, and I continue to descend upon him until he is fully seated in me, hitting a point inside me that makes my head roll back and my eyes roll back.

"Ride me babygirl. Have your walls squeeze me. I want you to come all over my dick." He starts rocking my hips until I find the perfect pace but I need more of him. Cole's hands roam my body once I have set the pace. He assaults my breasts and then one hand comes to assault my clit and the other hand goes to my backside, squeezing my a*s. I begin rocking faster needing more and more. I am greedy at this point and I feel his hand roaming to my a*s and his finger starts rubbing along that entrance.

"Do it Cole. Please. I need more. I need more." I say panting heavily. He nods and his finger dips into my wetness and moves back to my a*s. The natural lubricant allows him to circle my entrance and then he easily enters me and I explode almost immediately, screaming his name.

"Colleee!!!!!" His o****m quickly follows and I swear it is the longest. I can feel him continuing to twitch inside me while another o****m builds for me. As soon as he pinches my clit I explode again and my heart leaps out of my chest and my soul sours into the sky. I am having an out of body experience and don't even remember collapsing and succumbing to my sated feeling that I am in.

I wake up a while later, completely n***d, to the smell of food being cooked. I walk on out after throwing Cole's shirt back on me, and notice breakfast on the table and Cole in a Santa suit washing the pans he used. The memory of how he and Justin dressed as Santa when my mom was alive and happy hits like a freight train and I freeze in place.

I can feel myself on the brink of tears until there is such a calm feeling that travels throughout my body. Every ounce of sadness feels like it is being drained from me and I feel my airways able to process breathing again. Whatever it was that just happened sent me into a complete state of peace. Cole looks at me with nervous eyes but when I grace him with a smile instead of tears, his whole body relaxes.

"Merry Christmas babygirl." He says and all I can do is jump into his arms and kiss his face all over.

"Thank you. Thank you Cole. I love you. I..." I stop myself because it is the first time I have actually ever said it out loud. Cole eyes me carefully not once tensing up but I can see he is trying to see whether I am for real. I can see the wheels in his mind turning and turning.

"You love me? Like for real love me? I need to know because if this was a one or two time thing and you decide to give my brother another chance, I don't think I'll survive. I won't give you up that easily again." He says, his voice momentarily breaking but I know what my head and heart want.

"I love you Cole. You. Only you." I say meaning every word. A sense of calm washes over him and he leans in for a kiss meaning nothing more than love. He whips out the bag with a few gifts for me to open. I open to find a leather journal, a pandora bracelet, a spa set complete with bath bombs, and lastly a locket with both mine and his picture in it from when we were younger. He snaps a photo of when I lean in to kiss him and promises to add it to the other side of the locket.

We eat breakfast and nestle on the couch, intent on watching a Christmas movie marathon consisting of A Christmas Movie, Elf, Santa Clause 1, 2, and 3, Polar Express and Die Hard to round it all out. I know Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie, even though it is set during Christmas, but it is the ultimate guys movie so I let Cole have that one.

A little while later my doorbell rings and when Cole and I look at each other, we both shrug. Before I know it, there is a knock on my door. I walk on over to open it and immediately regret that I had, seeing Justin standing there, eyeing me and then glaring at his brother who is now behind me with his arm wrapped around my waist. I literally forgot I am only dressed in Cole's t-shirt, and Cole, well, he is dressed in his boxers, having taken off the Santa suit that was starting to become itchy for him.

Uh oh.

"Don't know how to answer your f*****g phone?" Justin spits, anger filling his eyes, at the both of us.

"s**t. Are they mad?" I look up at him with a what is going on kind of look and his mouth forms into a straight line.

"At first they were until I told them who you were with. I take it you two had some extracurricular fun. Hope the p***y was worth losing your brother for." He says and I gape at him. I feel my body tense and my hands ball into fists. Cole pulls me closer into him to try and release my building up anger but it doesn't help.

"What is wrong with you Justin? Why are you so cold and ruthless?" I say and he looks right at me.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong with me Hannah. Why would you think anything is f*****g wrong? Nothing could ever be wrong when I stare at you two lovebirds from now on, knowing it is him that you have chosen." He says and I just continue to stare at him.

"What have you done to make me believe that you even wanted another chance? Oh, I'm sorry, you just kept taunting me and bullying me along with your skank of a girlfriend." I seethe and he scoffs.

"Never pegged you for an all out s**t jumping from one brother to another. Thank f**k I never f****d you. God knows how many guys you have sucked into your vortex only to spit them out." His words are laced with venom and they hit the intended target but he is taking this way too out of control.

"Bro!" Cole booms and I slip out of his embrace and run to my room and close the door. I hear them going at it until the front door slams shut and Cole softly knocks on my door before coming in.

"I'm sorry about him babygirl." He says coming to lie next to me in my bed. I am curled up in a ball and feel him wrapping his arm around me pulling me into him. I turn around and look at his beautiful handsome face.

"This is a mistake isn't it? I shouldn't have chosen. I should have walked away or better yet, never returned. I was foolish thinking that we could all be friends again. What we all were once to each other should have remained in the past. I can't sit here and watch brothers drift apart because of me. I can't Cole." His face falls and I can see the hurt in his eyes at my words.

"No Hannah. This, us, isn't a mistake. We were meant to be together. We were meant to stand side by side and live the rest of our lives together. Justin is just pissed and he can be pissed all he wants. I loved you first. I loved everything about you from the moment you punched me in the face. You brought me out of my darkness and showed me a better way to live instead of living in anger. I am not losing either of you. He's my brother and always will be my brother and I will always love him but I will always love you too. I am not giving up my happiness just to live a life of misery without you. Sorry but not happening. Face the music babygirl. You are my present and future. I will marry you one day. I will have babies with you. I will die with you." He says with such sincerity that my heart jumps at his words.

"Marriage? Babies?" I feel his head for a fever but he is cool to the touch. He chuckles and it makes my heart leap again.

"Is it so wrong to plan my future with the girl of my dreams in the 8th grade? I don't regret it. I knew from the start that one day you'd be mine." He kisses me slowly and then it turns more heated to the point where we go into rounds three, four and five. I seem to not get enough of him and the feeling is mutual.

Mrs. Cole Perry.

Has a nice ring to it don't you think?