I am yours

Episode 8

Aleksandr

I woke up in my hotel room early but the sun was so bright I couldn't keep my eyes open. Florida was really nice but the Sun was just way too much. I ordered some coffee and slowly got ready. I had a meeting today. We had two clubs in here still, I didn't know why my father didn't sell them. He said the clubs are still bringing a lot of money. I think he should start hotel business instead. 

But of course in a nightclub you clear out money easier and not to mention the drug dealers and prostitutes who's paying for using the place and getting protection from us of course. My meeting was with a girl called Sofia. I didn't really like her. She wasn't nice looking at all, she just thought that she was. She always tried to get closer to me. She was pathetic. 

My phone broke me out from my thoughts. Someone called me. I checked the caller ID. It was Andrej. I haven't heard about him for a week now, since I left Los Angeles. He was my brother. Biologically we were cousins but my parents passed away when I've been 1 year old, so my uncle took care of me, he was my father, and that's how Andrej became my little brother. I knew how was him. Honestly wished he's going to grow up soon, and live a happy life. Well, he was happy, just not really in a good way. I smiled when I picked up the phone.

- What's up bro?

- Hey, I've got the same question. How is Florida?

- Sunny. Too sunny.

- What are you doing now, am I disturbing you?

- No. I just need to meet the monster in about an hour. 

- Oh. Take bodyguards with you.

- Someone is really funny today.

- Don't say that, I need to ask a serious question. How many girls have you got yet?

I looked up at the ceiling that was so typical.

- None. I don't have time for that.

- There is no fun in you Aleks. By the way. It's better if you hurry back because I have a present for you.

- Can I guess? A really beautiful girl isn't it?

- Yeap.

- Andrej, you never change. I`m not fancy for that, and you know that.

- You will like this one I swear.

- Shure. I have to go now.

- Okay but don't forget your present is waiting for you, so hurry up.

- Okay. Take care. See you in a week.

- Okey bro. Bye. 

I hung up. I smiled. I wasn't angry with him. He just wanted to make me happy. He always tried to push me to a girl that he thought was definitely going to make me happy. And make me forget. But the truth is, I didn't want to forget. I didn't deserve to forget. 

Actually I've always got girls around, I could take any of them, but honestly I preferred to je*k off if I was in need. Sometimes when I got drunk I took some girl. The most important was the girl had to be blonde. I always had s*x with them from behind, I never let them to turn around. That would have broke my illusion. Every time when I had s*x like that, I imagined someone else there. My Eva. 

But with her I always made love, never had s*x and a few times we did from behind we always faced each other after, and rested in each other's arms happily. That's why I stopped doing this. It was too painful in the end, facing the truth. 

It's pathetic I know, but I deserved every pain, I never deserved to be happy. I left her. I left her with a fu*king message. Sometimes I told myself that I've only done it for her. That was true, I couldn't bring her with me, because of her safety. It wasn't even sure that any of us would stay alive.

Fighting between mafias is never a game. It's fu*king real. If they would have found out there is someone who I really care about, she would have been their target, so they could blackmail me. I couldn't even get in touch with her, because they were clever enough to find out, and they'd even have gone to Europe to get her. And the Mexicans really know how to play this game. 

I'm not saying that we are better, but we needed to kick them out from our territories, we needed to get the agreement first to not to fight with each other anymore. To leave in peace next to each other. It took us three fu*cking years. After everything was done, our nightclubs went fine and clear, the first thing was I went back for her as I promised. But that was the time when I completely broke. 

I went to their flat, but an unknown man opened the door, he said he bought this flat from a young girl. I asked if he knows where they've gone, but he said he doesn't know. Finally I asked their neighbour. She was the same old lady. She said that Gabriella and Peter passed away years ago in a car accident. Eva sold the flat and went to work abroad, but she couldn't tell me where. 

I went back to my flat, just to look for signs, but that was clear no one had been there for a long time. I panicked. I lost her. I had no idea where she could be, and that was killing me. It hurt me to think about it, she needed to go through a lot of things totally alone after her parents died, and I wasn't there to give her a shoulder to cry on, to hold her and say that everything will be fine, because she has me. 

I came back finally without her, I even made a team to search for her, the team still worked, and I never wanted to stop them until they found her. I tried social media, but probably she doesn't use any of them as I couldn't find her there.

I even thought about the worst, but in that case I didn't want to be in this world anymore. I didn't believe in God, never, but I kept asked him to let me see her at least one more time in my life, just to tell her I love her. I always loved her even if I left her and she is the only girl in this world who has my heart. To tell her how much I miss her, and to tell her I'm sorry.