The Taste of Forgotten Love (Rated R-18) [COMPLETED]

A Memory Called You

"Lang, why do you have to do it? Why?"

Nakalutang sa ere si Alcindra habang pinipilit niyang abutin ito. And then she started falling, her cries slowly escaping his hearing until all he heard is just a gasp coming from above him. And there she was, covered in blood.

No, she's crying blood.

"Cin..."

"I love you, Lang. I will always love you."

And she started fading away.

"No, no. No... Cin! Cin"

"Cin!"

Habol ang hininga na bumalikwas siya ng bangon at agad na tiningnan ang eyeglass chain na palagi niyang itinatabi sa bedside table.

Bumangon siya sa katahimikan ng gabi at pinunasan ang pawis saka lumabas sa balkonahe para manigarilyo.

Binalikan niya ang panaginip. Iba iyon sa mga nakasanayan niyang mga eksena na dumadalaw sa kaniya gabi-gabi.

Kung dati ay nakakausap pa niya nang maayos si Cin, ngayon ay bigla-bigla na lang itong naglalaho. Dati ay palagi nitong sinasabi na pinapatawad siya nito pero ngayon ay may nababasa siyang galit sa mata nito.

"Why am I suddenly missing you here, Cin? What an idiot I am, acting like I didn't kill you myself," bulong niya habang nakatanaw sa madilim at sirang mansiyon ng mga Alcantara.

Ginambala siya ng isang tawag kaya medyo nawala ng kaunti ang atensiyon niya sa malayo.

"Sir, umatake na naman ang grupo nina Nathan Alcantara. Nasira po nila ang halos lahat ng mga camera."

Nagbuntunghininga siya saka tinitigan ang naka-expose na kamay na may iilang daliri na lang ang natira.

"Let him be," aniya at pumikit. Hinayaan niyang malunod uli ang sarili sa guilt.

"Pero sir, may bagong utos po si Sir Luca. Hulihin raw namin ang sinuman na magte-trespass lalung-lalo na sa security office."

Natigilan siya sandali bago dali-daling hinablot ang jacket at kumaripas ng takbo papalabas ng silid.

"Sino ang nahuli ninyo? Is it Nathan?" tanong niya ng nasa loob na siya ng kotse at tinanguan ang guwardiya na nagbukas ng gate para sa kaniya.

"Hindi sir. Babae po."

Babae.

Namigat sa pamimintig ang ulo niya sa narinig. A woman... Could it be her?

He bolted like a madman and arrived at the office within less than five minutes. Nadatnan niya ang mga tauhan na pinapalibutan ang babaeng nakatalikod at nakatali sa upuan.

"Untie her!" he shouted and came in front to take a better look at the woman who is throwing him a murderous glare.

"Tama ako. Lalabas ka nga ng lungga mo kapag una kang inatake!"

She freed herself from the rope and stood too abruptly. Namumula ang mata nito tanda ng sobrang galit.

A little bit disappointed, he sighed and motioned the men to leave them alone.

"You shouldn't be here, Alcantara. Leave."

Mabagsik itong lumapit sa kaniya at puno ng poot na tinitigan siya.

"Leave? I won't leave until I kill you, Langdon! Hindi ko alam kung bakit wala pang ginagawa sa iyo ang mga pinsan ko kaya ako na ang gagawa ng bagay na dapat ay matagal na naming ginawa. I don't care what happens to me now! I just want to kill you!"

Inilabas nito ang isang maliit na kutsilyo sa bulsa at walang pag-aatubiling sinugod siya. Umiwas siya rito sa unang pag-atake at nagbuntunghininga.

"Tatiana, please leave now. It will do no good to you if people will see you here," payo niya rito nang nagpatuloy pa rin ito sa tangkang pagsaksak sa kaniya.

"Wala akong pakialam! Kill me! Kill me too! 'Di ba iyon naman ang gusto niyo?! Ang ubusin kaming lahat?!" Tumulo ang luha nito dala ng galit nang tumutok ang tingin nito sa mukha niya. "Hayop! Baboy ka! Mamamatay-tao! Mas masahol ka pa sa hayop, Langdon. At least they know how to not kill their own blood. They can still recognize their own family. Pero ikaw, wala ka man lang sinasanto! How could you?! How could you kill Cin knowing that she..."

Hindi nito naituloy ang sasabihin at napasalampak na lang sa sahig. She covered her face with her hands and continued sobbing.

Langdon stood there as if lightning struck him. May naglalaro sa kaniyang isip pero hindi niya iyon magawang tanggapin. He can't. He won't.

"What do you mean? What are you saying?" he asked in an effort to know the truth even if all of inside him is already telling him something.

She raised her face at him. "So you don't know? You don't really know, Asturia?"

Muling sumulasok sa galit ang mukha nito saka tumayo uli at pinagsusuntok ang dibdib niya.

"Pinatay mo ang sariling dugo't laman mo! Alcindra was pregnant with your child the night you killed her! You killed Alcindra and your own blood!"

Literal na nanginig ang labi niya sa narinig.

"Wait... Wait, Tatiana. Ano iyang sinasabi mo? N-No, no, it can't be. Alcindra is not pregnant. She's not pregnant w-when...

Napalunok siya nang maalala ang emosyon sa mga mata ni Alcindra noong gabing iyon. He felt like she wants to say something but he didn't let her and instead pull the trigger.

"W-What..." was the only word that he was able to utter.

Hindi na niya napigilan ang sarili at mahigpit na hinawakan ang braso nito. Gusto niyang ulitin uli nito ang sinabi nito at ipaliwanag sa kaniya ang lahat. He wanted to know so that he can decide whether to kill himself some more.

"Tell me you're just bluffing. Tell me you're just doing this to torture me more because you've just succeeded! It's tormenting me now! Please don't do this. Don't tell me I killed my own child! Bawiin mong sinabi mo!"

Kinagat nito ang labi at dinuraan siya.

"Bakit ko babawiin ang mga sinabi ko kung totoo naman iyong lahat? Bakit ba kasi ang isang tulad mo pa ang minahal ni Alcindra? Did you know she loved you since she was in her teens? Mula noon hanggang sa segundong pinatay mo siya, ikaw lang ang tanging lalaking minahal niya kahit hindi ka naman karapat-dapat! Hindi siya kailanman tumingin sa iba. Ikaw lang ang tanging nakikita ng mga mata niya. Why did she have to love someone who won't ever love her in return?! And why do you have to kill our only joy, Langdon?! Why?!"

Tears fell from his eyes without him knowing. Parang pinipilipit sa sakit ang dibdib niya. Lumuwag ang hawak niya kay Tatiana at napaatras.

Doon bumukas ang pinto at pumasok ang humahangos na pinsan na agad na itinago ang babae sa likod nito. Sergio looked him in the eyes and shook his head.

"Not, Tatiana, Langdon. Not my girl. Please, cousin."

Ngunit wala siyang panahon para linawin ang maling akala nito.

"Is it true? Cin... Cin is pregnant when I..." Hindi niya masabi ang salitang ginawa niya sa pobreng babae.

"Don't you call her that way!" Tatiana wanted to reach for his face again while screaming. "Don't ever call her Cin! You've lost the right, murderer!"

"I'm asking you, Sergio. Please," he pleaded when his cousin hugged Tatiana.

He nodded. Langdon felt himself reaching the brink and then falling right after.

"I thought you knew already. Kasama sa mga na-recover sa bangin ang pregnancy test ni Alcindra at... nakompirma ko mula sa autopsy na ginawa ng mga Alcantara na buntis nga ito."

He turned around and gasped for air. Nawalan ng lakas ang mga tuhod niya kaya bumagsak siya sa sahig habang habol ang hininga.

"No, it can't be. It can't be. I didn't kill our child. I don't know!" he told himself.

"Does it change anything, Langdon? You shouldn't have thought of killing her at all. That poor girl loves you so much. If only you could see," Sergio said in a calm manner but its effects on him is the opposite of calmness.

It's choking him. The guilt and regrets are consuming him dead.

He stood up, his legs wobbling in misery. Hanggang sa makarating siya sa kotse at paandarin iyon ay parang hindi pa rin niya maramdaman ang sarili.

He stopped in the middle of the deserted road and went out. He sat on the cold cement, covered his face, and cried like he has never did before.

"Why... Why do I have to be like this? Why do I keep on killing her again and again? Is this why you look like that in my dreams, Cin?"

Pag-uwi niya ay binuksan niya ang safe sa silid at sa nanginginig na kamay ay kinuha ang pouch na naglalaman ng mga gamit ni Alcindra. Ito ang unang beses na gagawin niya ito. Hindi nga niya magawang tingnan ang safe ng hindi naninikip ang dibdib.

He slowly unzipped the bag and felt his head getting bigger when his eyes landed on the two lines on a pregnancy test.

Ikinuyom niya ang mga kamao at ikinulong ang sigaw sa loob ng bibig.

"W-What have I done?! What have I done?!"

He put the bag back into the safe and ran back to his car. Tuliro siya. Hindi niya malaman ang gagawin pero isa lang ang alam niyang lugar na dapat niyang puntahan ngayon.

Halos wala na siya sa sarili nang makarating siya sa libingan ni Alcindra. Nawala sandali ang kalituhan niya ng makitang may nauna ng tao sa kaniya.

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya lalo na nang makita ang pinsan na nagsisimula nang maghukay sa paligid ng libingan.

"Keon! What are you doing?! Itigil mo iyan!"

Sinipa niya ito at inagaw ang pala mula rito.

"Don't you lay your hand on her grave again. Sa susunod na makikita kitang umaaligid sa kaniya, pasasabugin ko ang bungo mo!" banta niya at ibinalik ang lupang nahukay at inayos ang mga bulaklak na dinala niya ng bisitahin niya ito kaninang umaga.

"Get out of my way, Langdon. I did not come here on my own. The family sent me. Umalis ka na diyan. Luca sent his own men here. I just volunteered because I don't want her remains to be desecrated again. Step aside."

"No! If I have to kill again just so I could protect what remained of her, I'll do it," bulalas niya. "Keon, 'wag mo ng dagdagan pa ang mga kasalanan ko sa kaniya."

Keon stood there in shock as he watched his coldest cousin wept in despair.

"I killed Alcindra... I killed her. Not once did I ever forget her face since then. I can't have a single decent sleep in a night because I kept on thinking about her. They said I'm just guilty but only now did I realize that it's deeper than that. Nagsisisi ako kung bakit ko ginawa iyon. Sising-sisi ako pero wala na akong magagawa pa para maibalik ang buhay niya kaya pakiusap, hayaan mo akong protektahan laban sa atin kahit man lang ang himlayan niya. Pakiusap."

Napaluhod siya sa harap nito kasabay ang pagyuko ng ulo at pagsalo ng kamay sa mukha.

"I'm so ashamed. I killed them, Keon. I killed them. I'm a murderer. I killed the woman who did nothing but love me. I killed... my own child."

Tumatangis na hinaplos niya ang pangalan ni Alcindra sa lapida.

"I'll live my entire life asking for your forgiveness. I wasn't able to protect you, the two of you while you were alive so let me protect whatever that remained of you here," umiiyak na wika niya.

Nagbuntunghininga si Keon bago tumalikod.

"Get yourself together, Langdon. You will not fall down like this. The man I looked up to and I consider my rival will never grovel to the ground like this," ani nito bago tuluyang umalis.

Naiiling na natawa siya. He could do more than grovel for Alcindra. He could do more things for her now. Funny how he'd realized what he could do for her only now when she's dead.

He felt someone's presence in the back.

"Leave us alone, Keon. Ako na ang kakausap kay Lu—"

"So men cried like little children too."

Nanindig ang mga balahibo niya sa batok nang marinig ang boses na iyon. It's been years since he'd heard it. He thought he will never heard it again but now...

He slowly tilted his face to see the woman that he has been yearning to see all throughout the years that he thought she's gone forever from this world.

"Cas..."

Namuo ang mga luha sa mga mata nito kasabay ang pagpapalit ng galit mula sa pangungulila na nandoon kanina.

"You have no right to call me that name, murderer."

She slowly raised the gun at him with trembling hands and pulled the trigger.