Where the Heart Simmered

CHAPTER 16

THE COUNTRYSIDE air was cool, brushed with the scent of grass and flowers from the neighbor, and Zayden had insisted on a short walk after their slow afternoon. Magkahawak sila ng kamay na lumabas ng kanilang apartment, both of them in sweaters—hers with oversized and slipping off one shoulder, and his hoodie faded and soft.

Wala naman silang destinasyon na pupunta sa paglabas nila ng kanilang apartment. Basta inaya lamang ni Zayden si Luna na lumabas ng apartment at maglakad-lakad. Of course, Zayden brought with him his phone and wallet. Baka may magustuhan si Luna na pagkain sa daan.

They ended up at the park, ito ang park noon na pinuntahan ni Luna at kung saan siya nawala at sobrang nag-aalala si Zayden.

Nakita nila ang mga swings at ang grupo ng mga bata na masayang naghahabulan. Their laughter’s echoing like wind chimes.

May nahanap naman si Zayden na lumang bench pero matibay pa naman kaya inaya niya si Luna na umupo. He patted the space beside him. Luna sat with her, still holding his hands.

“My father used to bring me to the park on Sundays. And my mom used to think it was boring.” Kwento ni Luna.

Habang nakikinig si Zayden kay Luna, pinapanood niya ang isang batang babae na kung saan ay tinulungan ang isang bata sa sliding area. “What happened?”

Luna sighed, not heavy, but comfortable. Hindi niya sinagot si Zayden pero pinisil niya ang kamay nito. She smiled, remembering her childhood times with her father. Noong sinasamahan siya nito sa park para makipaglaro sa ibang bata at natigil lamang ‘yon nang nagalit ang kaniyang ina. Because her mother just wants her to play inside their house.

One of the boys ran past them with a red cape made from a blanket. And another shouted something about space pirates.

Natawa naman si Luna saka hinilig ang ulo sa balikat ni Zayden. “Do you think you’d ever want kids?”

Hindi agad sumagot si Zayden.

Habang si Luna ay natigilan sa sariling tanong. Bakit pa niya ‘yon tinanong kay Zayden? Baka hindi rin siya handa sa magiging sagot nito—

“If it’s with someone I love,” Zayden said as he turned to Luna and looked in her eyes, “then yes. I think I’d really want that.”

Nahigit ni Luna ang hininga at bumilis ang t***k ng kaniyang puso.

“How about you?” Zayden asked.

Hindi alam ni Luna ang kaniyang isasagot. Oo naman gusto niya ng anak lalo na kung ang ama ng magiging anak niya ay mahal siya at mahal din niya ito. But it her case, it was different.

“Luna.”

Umiling si Luna. “Hindi ko alam, Den. Hindi ko alam.”

“Then don’t think about it.” Wika ni Zayden.

Sa mga sumunod na sandali, pareho na silang natahimik. Pareho nilang iniisip ang tungkol sa mga sarili nilang problema. Luna, she’s getting married and have kids in the future—but not with Zayden.

While Zayden was thinking on how to make Luna pregnant. Bahala na diyan. Basta gagawa siya ng paraan upang hindi mawala sa kaniya si Luna. Kaya naman kung kailangan niya itong buntisin ay gagawin niya.

The wind brushed on them gently, the leaves rustled, and the sun slipped lower from the west.

Humigpit ang pagkakahawa ni Zayden sa kamay nu Luna.

Napangiti na lamang si Luna. Minsan iniisip niya na sana si Zayden na lamang ang lalaking papakasalan niya, edi sana walang problema. Sa ayaw at sa gusto man niya, kailangan niyang magpakasal. It’s not because of love or responsibility, but because of gratitude to her parents.

I’m sorry, Zayden.

LATER THAN EVENING. Luna is sitting by the apartment window, a cup of tea in her hands. Zayden is in the kitchen, humming softly as he finishes the dishes.

Humugot ng malalim na hininga si Luna habang nakaupo sa may bintana, knees drawn up to her chest, and her sketchbook was resting beside her, untouched.

Wala na sa isipan niya ang mag-drawing. Ang nasa isipan niya ang tungkol sa mga bata sa park na nakita niya kanina. The way their tiny feet pounded the grass, how their shrieks turned the air with joy. The kids were not annoying to hear their laughter, it was softening.

Nakita niya rin kung paano lumambot ang mukha kanina ni Zayden habang nakatingin sa mga bata at kung paano ito ngumiti.

Would my child laugh like that? She wondered out of nowhere.

Would they like stories at bedtime?

Would they like to draw, like her? Or cook, like Zayden?

Napakurap si Luna. She was surprised at herself. How could she think like this with Zayden in mind if she was already getting married to another man?

Pero hindi naman siguro masama kung mag-imagine na lang siya ng posibleng mangyari?

It wasn’t something she used to picture. Bigla na lang habang naaalala niya ang mga bata sa park. Having a child is not something she clearly thought about. Her future had always felt hazy, like something too fragile to hope for, too soft to hold.

Pero sa pagkakataon na ‘yon, habang nakaupo siya sa may bintana habang nagmumi-muni, hinayaan niya ang kaniyang sarili na mangarap. She dreamed of something impossible to happen.

A small hand was tugging her skirt. Chubby fingers pointing at fireflies. Crayon scribbles on the wall. Laughter in the kitchen while Zayden tried to bake without dropping flour on the toddler riding his foot like a horse.

Napangiti si Luna at napailing na lamang. That was indeed impossible to happen.

Tinignan ni Luna ang lumamig na tsaa sa baso. Itinapon niya ito dahil hindi naman na maganda ang lasa kapag malamig na.

She was dreaming of the life she wanted in the future, but she knew to herself it would never happen.

“Luna?” The door of her room opened, and Zayden entered.

Luna smiled.

“Okay ka lang?”

Tumango si Luna. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“About what?”

Nagkibit ng balikat si Luna. “About random things.”

Lumapit si Zayden kay Luna saka hinalikan ito sa tuktok ng ulo nito. He caged Luna in his arms by hugging her.

They could both feel their hearts racing and the warmth of their body.

Hindi alam ni Zayden at Luna na may nanood sa kanila sa hindi kalayuan.

The landlord of Zayden and Luna’s apartment walked into the black car parked a few blocks away from the apartment.

“Manong, ayos ang ginawa mo, ah.” Sabi ng lalaking nasa driver seat habang ang nasa passenger seat na kasama nito ay napapailing na lamang.

“Sir, kapag nalaman ng dalawa na sinadya kong pagsamahin sila sa iisang bahay. Baka ako naman ang balikan.”

Natawa ang driver ng kotse. “Huwag kang mag-alala, manong, hinding-hindi nila malalaman. At isa pa, mabait ‘yang si Zayden.”

Napakamot na lang ang landlord sa noo.

The man on the passenger seat gave a cheque to the man behind the wheel. The amount of the cheque was enough to buy a lot of 1 hectare of land.

“Oo nga pala, manong. Salamat.” Then he gave the cheque to the landlord.

“Salamat rin ho, sir.”

The man behind the wheel closed the car’s window. The landlord left and went back to his house with a cheque in his pocket that he needed for his daughter’s tuition.

“Sigurado ka ba sa ginawa mo?” tanong ng lalaking nakaupo sa may passenger seat.

Nagkibit naman ng lalaking nakaupo sa drover seat. “Bakit hindi?”

“This is manipulation.”

“Baka magpasalamat pa sila sa akin.”

Napailing na lamang ang lalaki sa passenger seat. “Anong magpasalamat? Ginawa mo na lang na magulo ang lahat. Yes, they are already into each other as we can see, but how long will it last? The woman was getting married. Sa tingin mo ba pipiliin niya si Zayden?”

“Then I will make her choose Zayden.”

Napabuga na lamang ang lalaking nakaupo sa passenger seat. “Let’s go. At huwag mo akong idadamay sa ginawa mong ‘to.”

“Sure. I will bear the responsibility alone. Masyado kang kabado.”

“Hindi ako kabado. Sinasabi ko lang. Velasco and Fernandez were among the influential families in the country. What will happen if they clash?”

“And you are not from an influential family?” the man behind the wheel teases.

The man on the passenger seat sighed. “I am, but I won’t intervene in this matter.”

“Alam ko naman na hindi ka sasali sa ganitong pakulo. Trust me, magiging magandang palabas ‘to.”

The man behind the wheel looked at the apartment, where he could clearly see Zayden and Luna hugging each other.

“See you soon, lovebirds.”