Irrevocably HERS

Chapter Eight

Anger.

Rage.

Hurt.

Regret.

These are the emotions flooding my system right now. See, these are the emotions I am more equipped to handle. Everything else falls away when I have these kinds of emotions within me. Every ounce of whatever other feelings I had rummaging throughout my heart seem to float into a void. A black void that I have come quite customed to live with. This is exactly why I had to push her away. This is why I needed to have her see what I truly am. Those other emotions were my downfall because this, this right here is what I crave. I crave the darkness to swoop me in. I crave for the need to obliterate anything in my path. I don't do love. It's just not built for me. However, I can see that without the rage I wouldn't feel a damn thing, which makes this moment even more conflicting. I hurt her, I get that. But for her to almost annihilate me by almost f*****g someone else is what gets me. This rage is for what I had to endure without her. She is my beacon. She is my light. She is what can feed and sate the beast within, but right now, the beast wants out. The beast saw and heard her almost come in the f*****g car with that piece of s**t.

I have Amber, my beautiful Amber, standing in front of me naked as can be, shivering slightly, with me grasping her throat wanting nothing more than to squeeze because all I can truly see is the douchebag whose life I wanted to end right then and there latched to her body like he f*****g owned it. All I can see is her writhing against him moaning. I wanted to paint the ground red with his blood. I wanted to end his pitiful existence. I still do, but it's the need to be with her right now that is grounding me. I may be mad, furious even, but I have her here. She is here. In my room. Once again. Where she rightfully f*****g belongs.

The asshole whose name I will find out eventually, had his f*****g hands all over her body. His damn tongue was latched to her breasts, sucking them in and trying to devour them. Her mound was grazing against his pitiful erection. All I saw was his murder when I tore that car door open. I don't know what I would have done if she had allowed him to screw her. I think I would have wound up in jail on murder charges. This is the part where my inner demon comes front and center. No longer am I the closed off grumpy asshole blending in amongst the shadows. Right now, I am a highly lethal individual. Right now, I am basically, certifiably, unhinged.

"You shouldn't have done that." Is all I can say in a tone so void of emotion that it scares even me in my mind. I see the slight fear within her beautiful innocent eyes. Her hair is dripping water onto the floor as she tries to close herself off by hugging her arms around her chest. Yeah, not happening. Wasn't too shy before when she was exposing herself to the asshole I want to put six feet under. I grip her tighter, feeling her swallowing against the palm of my hand.

"Don't you dare cover up. Do you understand how much I had to hold myself back from killing that guy you decided to release pent up energy on? Do you realize the ramifications of your actions baby? All I see in my mind right now is you with him. No longer do I see myself giving you everything you need. No longer do I see the connection we forged during the holiday. That, that needs to be rectified, right the f**k now. I think I need to remind you just who owns this body." I growl out, going to stand behind her. I sure as s**t am naked also because I had to toss her into the shower and scrub the filth from her body. I should have scrubbed her more because I think I can still see his saliva on her along with his fingerprints. I know I am just seeing things. It's killing me that this is where we have ended up.

"This.." I grab a hold of her mound as she releases a gasp "this is mine." I still have my hand against her throat and it must do something to her because once I slide my fingers a little more downwards, all I can feel is slick. I slide through it with a finger, release it and move it to my mouth and lick. She gasps and then I begin to move my fingers slowly up the length of her body, coming to place both hands on her breasts, standing directly behind her, so she can feel all of me. An iron damn rod right now.

"These are most definitely mine. Only for me to see. Only for me to touch. Only for me to latch my lips to and suck on." I say against her ear. I bite her earlobe as I watch her clenching her thighs together with what I am saying. I release her breasts and go to wrap one hand back around her throat and the other to have my fingers graze against her lips.

"This mouth. This mouth is mine. These lips are mine. I will kiss them and make them swollen all I want. I will have them wrap around my length and have my seed spill down your throat because once again, it is....go ahead.... say it." I say in a husky tone licking her neck and feeling her swallow hard.

"Yours. All yours." She gasps out and that is definitely the right answer. My length scrapes along her backside, wanting nothing more than to poke her, impale her, have my way filthy way with her to remind her that she is mine, hard and rough, but the angry void of emotion person is slowly fading away and the guy who wants nothing more than to have her back with me comes to the front. I walk back around her and stand in front her. I take both my hands and place them on her face. I can see tears falling down her cheeks and my thumbs reach out to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Hunter. I just didn't want to hurt anymore." She whispers to me and I bring my lips to land softly against hers. I kiss her gently, making her see that she is not the one to blame. This. Everything that has happened is all on me. I will own up to my biggest f**k up. I pushed her away believing I wasn't good enough for her. She made me believe in something that I never thought possible. She made me believe that I can actually be loved, and to be loved by her is something I will never take for granted, ever again.

I deepen the kiss and beg her entrance to her mouth. She obliges and we are dueling with our tongues, each of us needing more. I move my mouth away to just look into my girls eyes.

"You are it for me baby. I'm done trying to deny it. I'm done pushing you away. I'm done sitting around, lurking around, watching you move on without me because it hurts too damn much. You were right when you told me I needed to fix myself. You allowed me to see the error of my ways and I can't keep denying myself love any more. You came in here like a hurricane and stormed your way into my shielded heart. You brought me back from the abyss I was drowning in. From this moment on, you and I are one." I say before I kiss her with everything I have as she jumps straight into my arms and locks her legs around me. I lead us to the bed where I lie her down and immediately place my length at her center.

"This is how we will end the day together. This is how we will wake up beside one another together. This is how we will be together from now till the end of time, and probably into eternity. Wherever your soul goes, don't for a second think mine won't follow." I say as I slowly enter her, both of us groaning with the feeling. This is home. She is my home. My home.

After a long night of countless numbers of pleasures we both gave ourselves, I awaken with my girl whimpering in my arms, tossing and turning, only to shatter completely waking up in a complete sweat screaming. I capture her in my arms immediately wanting to soothe her.

"Shhh. Shhh. I'm here. You're okay." I say squeezing her into my chest. She sniffles and I feel her breath beginning to slow, maybe finally realizing she is awake and not asleep trapped in her nightmare any longer.

"Hunter?" She says softly and my heart cracks at the way it sounds nearly vulnerable.

"Yes baby. I'm here. I told you we were going to start waking up entangled with each other again. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. Come, lie down. Put your head on my chest and wrap your leg around me. Feel my body against yours. I've got you. " I tell her which she nods her head at and we both lie back down and she does exactly what I tell her. She seems calmer and it eases away at my own sadness. She begins making circles along my stomach and her touch rinses away any thought of her needing to be far away from me because I somehow think that she still deserves better than me. I am worthy of her. I just need to keep reciting that mantra. I want to ask about the dream but I shut my mouth not wanting to cause her any more upset.

"I wanted to believe I had escaped these nightmares, but now they keep coming more and more. I mean, ever since we ended things. Usually it would be at random but now, I think I have been having them every night. I don't want you to have to see me like this. I can always go back downstairs to Chrissy. She's used to me having them." She says against my chest and I stiffen at the thought of her leaving me and begin to feel sick that my abandoning her reactivated them.

"You aren't going anywhere. I may not know everything but what I do finally know is that I was placed on this Earth to protect the other half of my soul. I will do whatever it takes to erase your demons. I will be here during the night to hold you close to me. I will be here when you wake up. I will be here when you shout out screaming from your nightmares. You are staying with me. There is no way out of the love bubble that we have made once again. It is ours and it stays in tact for the rest of our lives." I say into her hair and kiss her head. She turns to look up at me and rests her chin on top of her hand for support.

"Bubbles are meant to pop Hunter. Ours popped after a week. What makes you think this time would or could be any different?" She says with unshed tears forming once again in her eyes.

"Our last bubble was one where I thought I could hang on to you and not cause you to drown within my darkness. This bubble is different because I know that you weren't the one going to drown in my darkness. You were the one saving me from it. You are my anchor. You have always been my anchor from the moment you stepped out of that car. I might not have known what this feeling was then but I do now, and I am damn sure that I am not letting it go." I say with such conviction that she rises and comes to straddle me. I raise the blanket over our bodies as she slowly, torturously slowly, lowers herself onto my manhood. She moves her body up and down at such a slow pace that I can feel even more of this feeling, raw emotion, between us. I grip the back of her neck making her freeze her movements. We stare into one another's eyes as I bring her face down to mine and kiss her so fiercely that it ignites such a burst of passion between us that we can no longer contain ourselves.

"f**k me Hunter." She says hoarsely as her hair cascades down the side of her face and it stirs more fire within me. I grip her hair in my hand and wrap it around. I tug slightly that she whimpers, which makes her gush around me and I groan with approval.

"Baby, I'm going to be f*****g you over and over, till you and I both won't be able to move for days." I say before smashing her mouth down onto mine, moving my hands down to her hips, holding them so tightly that I know she will be sporting bruises and slam her into me relentlessly again and again until we are both screaming our releases well into the late morning. Pretty sure the whole block, if not just the house heard us.