The Lifetimes I Remembered

Chapter Six: Hannah

Hannah was wiping the remaining dirty tables. The last customer had left and she and Ivan were about to close the café. Louis, the cook, had already left saying that he had to help his son at the last minute with his science project. Hannah was cleaning the café and Ivan- she actually had no idea what Ivan was up to. He just disappeared into the kitchen when Louis left.

“Ivan!” Hannah called out, removing her apron and hiding it in one of the cabinets. “I better get going. I don’t want to go home later than it already is.”

She was at the door when Ivan rushed out of the kitchen. “Hannah, wait!”

She stopped and turned to look at him. He was balancing a tray on his hands that held two smoothies and a heaping plate of pancakes and bacon. “I got hungry.”

He placed the tray on the table and smiled at her. Hannah felt her heart do a flip at the sight of his warm smile. “I’m sorry if I had you cleaning the tables and everything else. I just thought that we could eat something before we head home.”

“You had me eating a burger earlier. I’m still full.” Hannah replied even if that was a slight lie. She was a bit hungry. The last round of customers they had was a handful.

Ivan tilted his head to the side as he looked at her. As he did that, his hair fell onto his ocean eyes, slightly covering them but they still shone under the harsh luminescent light. Just as she was ready to tell him that she would head out first, her stomach growled which made her eyes widen in embarrassment.

Ivan chuckled and pushed her to sit down. “Eat. I’ll be giving you a ride home anyway.”

Hannah’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “I didn’t ask you to.”

“I know. But it’s late anyway. You’re new in town. Aren’t you scared to be heading home at night, alone?” Ivan asked, taking a bite of the pancake he made and closing his eyes, savoring the taste. He handed her a fork. “Eat, Hannah. I made it for the two of us.”

Hannah could only stare at him. He was nice and sweet and she wondered if he was like this all the time. Ivan caught her looking and he flashed her a crooked smile. “What? Do I have syrup on my face?”

She shook her head. “No. You don’t need to give me a ride home, Ivan.”

“Are you scared that I’ll get us into an accident like I had done before?” Ivan asked and for a moment, Hannah wondered if he meant getting the two of them in an accident in their previous lifetime or the accident he had two months ago. If it was the former, it made her heart race because that would mean she wasn’t just the only one remembering.

“What?”

Ivan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, tousling it. “I’m sure you’ve heard about my accident. The one that killed Andre. Everyone says he was my best friend but I can’t remember anything about this lifetime.”

Hannah felt like there was more of what he had to say but he just looked at her with those piercing ocean eyes and she swallowed back the words of confession that she wanted to say. In that moment, she wanted him to know how an accident jumpstarted her brain to remember every memory of her previous lifetimes and how he was in them.

But she couldn’t explain them without sounding crazy.

“It was nice of you to fill in for Emerson, by the way,” Ivan said, his eyes focused on his food.

Hannah bit her lip. “She seemed really concerned about her grandmother.”

Ivan nodded and flashed her a small smile. “Cheryl told me that she and her mother were all that her grandmother has. And her Mom’s always busy so it’s always just the two of them.”

Hannah felt a pang of sympathy for the other girl. “What happened to her grandmother?”

“She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last year. At least, that’s what Cheryl told me.”

“It must’ve been hard for her,” Hannah said. It must’ve been hard to see someone you love suddenly stop being the person that they are.

Ivan nodded in agreement. “What’s worse is that everyone at school seems to treat her like she has the plague. Even Hazel.”

“Why is that?”

Ivan took stuffed a whole bacon into his mouth and swallowed it before answering. “I don’t really know. Someone explained to me that it’s because her father was a convict who harbored drugs and almost killed someone. They think Emerson might turn out like her father.”

Hannah’s mouth dropped. That was so shallow. But then, the pre-accident Hannah would’ve avoided Emerson too if she knew about the background. But she wasn’t that version of herself anymore. “That’s really shallow.”

“Tell me about it. That’s why I’m being extra nice to her but I think she might’ve developed a mentality that everyone’s just out to judge her.” Ivan said with a sigh and then continued to eat in silence.

“Sometimes I think I’m like Emerson’s grandmother,” Ivan said suddenly which made Hannah looked at him in surprise.

She couldn’t help but ask him. “What do you mean?”

Ivan shrugged. “Emerson’s grandmother’s memory gradually declined to the point that she could barely remember anything. I got into an accident and woke up with no memory of this life. Everyone who loves me must be feeling the same thing as Emerson.”

Hannah didn’t respond. For a while, her life had been like that too. She couldn’t remember much of anything in this lifetime but she remembered everything in her previous ones. It was frustrating. It still was frustrating.

“But like her grandmother, everyone’s reminding me of the life I had lived,” Ivan said quietly, so softly that Hannah barely heard. “I just wished they’d stop.”

Hannah didn’t know what to say. There was a part of her- a strong part of her- that wanted to comfort Ivan because the frustration was eating him up. But she was scared to so she opted on remaining silent and eating the food he prepared. They finished the food in silence and cleaned the dishes Ivan used. They locked up the café and Ivan led her to where he parked his motorbike.

Hannah narrowed her eyes at his mode of transportation. “How did you let your Dad agree to get you this when you just came out of an accident that almost claimed your life?”

“I didn’t,” Ivan replied, getting on the death machine and handing her a helmet. “Eventually, he just stopped nagging when he realized I didn’t plan on selling it.”

Hannah was unsure of where she was going to hold onto when Ivan revved the bike. “Hold onto me.”

Her hands flew to his shoulders and she heard his chuckle cut through the noise of the engine. She felt him take her hands off of his shoulder and he guided her to wrap her arms around her waist. “I don’t want you falling. So hold onto me tight.”

. . .

“Thanks for the lift home, Ivan,” Hannah said, getting off of his bike. “And for the food.”

Ivan smiled and did a small salute to her. It was hard to imagine how he could be this sweet when at school, he seemed to be brooding and annoyed at everyone around him. “Thanks for staying to help me at the café. Your presence was appreciated.”

Hannah merely nodded and she gave him a small wave and she was ready to head inside her house. “Hannah!”

She turned around to face Ivan and was struck by his ocean eyes. “What?”

“It was nice talking to you,” Ivan said, his eyes staring intently at her.

“I’ve barely said anything,” Hannah told him.

Ivan nodded. “Yes, you didn’t It’s exactly what I wanted. Someone listening. Have a good night, Hannah. I’ll see you at school.”

Hannah watched Ivan sped off in the night. She wished she hadn’t been sweet and nice to her all night because it would’ve been easier to avoid him when he was arrogant and a jerk. But when he talked about Emerson’s grandmother, she could hear the concern laced in his voice.

She entered her house and sighed, leaning on the door for support. She didn’t exactly have any clue what was going on in her life right now. She got into an accident that killed her older brother and gave her memories of previous lifetimes she shouldn’t be having and meeting the boy that was haunting her dreams and memories.

The only answer Google gave her was reincarnation.

But that wasn’t possible, right?

She fished her phone out of her pocket and saw a text from Dominic that he would be working late but that Mom would be home soon. Hannah looked at their new house and saw that there were still some boxes that needed to be unboxed so to cancel her lingering thoughts about Ivan, and to stop any memories from overwhelming her, she decided to busy herself with the unboxing.

She was onto the second box that was labeled to be Mom’s important stuff. It mostly contained documents. She knew that her Mom always hid the documents in an old chest so she took out all of the contents and headed into her mother’s room.

Hannah opened the chest and saw that it contained two boxes of photo albums. One was the wedding album of her parents and the other was of her and her brothers. She took the one that was theirs and a piece of paper fell out.

Curiously, she opened the paper and read what it was. They were adoption papers, she realized once she read it further. She couldn’t understand why her mother was hiding adoption papers and who, among the three of them, were adopted.

Hannah heard the door open and she came out of the room to face her mother. Alice looked worn out and tired. Her blonde hair was tied in a messy ponytail and the bags under her eyes and Hannah felt bad to bombard her with questions regarding adoptions. But she knew if she didn’t get her answers, she wouldn’t be sleeping tonight and she already had trouble with sleeping as it is.

“Mom!” Hannah said, the papers in her hand and raised for her mother to see.

“Where did you get that?” Alice asked, snatching the document from Hannah’s hand.

“I decided to unbox the remaining boxes and place the documents on your chest. That’s where I found it.” Hannah explained, her eyes narrowed at her mother. “Tell me the truth, Mom. Who’s adopted?”

Alice closed her eyes and rubbed her palms against her forehead, looking like she just suddenly had the worst case of a headache. “Just forget you ever found this, Hannah.”

“Mom, answer me,” Hannah said, looking at her mother seriously. “Is it me?”

“No!”

“Then who?”

Alice sighed and dragged her daughter to their couch to sit. “It’s Dominic. Okay? Just, don’t tell him.”

“You never told him?” Hannah asked, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why?”

“Your Dad and I were planning to but he died and I got busy.”

“Too busy to tell Dom the truth?” I asked, anger seeping out of my voice. I felt betrayed for Dominic. He deserved to know the truth about himself.

“It’s more complicated than that, Hannah!” Alice suddenly snapped. She rubbed her eyes and looked at her daughter. “Before you came, it was just Dom and Mitch and even then, all of the relatives adored Mitch because he was the biological son. Everyone ignored Dom.”

“It got worse for him when you came,” Alice said softly. “Jeff and I didn’t think I’ll get pregnant again. I was diagnosed with PCOS after I gave birth to Mitch. I didn’t think I’d get pregnant again.”

“Who’s Dom’s parents?”

“Your aunt Camilla. Remember her?”

I vaguely remembered a petite lady with hair the same shade as Dom’s. Ashy blonde. She always seemed to dote on Dom and he adored her. He liked having her around. But that was the only memory I had of her. The rest weren’t accessible.

“She was my best friend. She got pregnant with someone else and her boyfriend, Jude, he didn’t know. He was based in China for a year and Camilla was so scared to tell him. She wanted to get rid of the baby. But Jeff and I asked if we could adopt the child; make it look like she agreed to be my surrogate.”

“But when you got pregnant with me?”

“Jude thought you were done by surrogate too,” Alice informed her with a sigh.

“Mom, Dom needs to know.”

Alice closed her eyes. “I’ll tell him, just give me some time.”