Her heart is going to burst at any moment now knowing that Langdon is awake all this time.
Wala na siyang mukhang maihaharap dito. Bistado na siya. And what would he think of her now? That she's someone who takes the first step? That's so unlike of her but...
"I'm sorry," she spurted out when she knows there's no way she could strangle her way out of his arms.
Idinagan nito ang ibabang katawan sa kaniya at itinukod ang dalawang braso sa unan niya.
"What are you sorry about?" tanong nito sa malalim na boses habang patuloy na pinag-aaralan ang mukha niya.
Kinagat niya ang labi bago pumikit. Alam niyang mukha na siyang sili sa pula.
"For kissing you?" she mumbled.
"Hmmm."
She gasped again when she felt him inhaled the scent on her neck.
"Open your eyes, Cin," utos nito.
Kasabay ng kaniyang pagmulat ang paggalaw nito para sapuin ang mukha niya at ang paghalik nito sa pisngi niya.
"You know you don't have to steal a kiss from me. All you have to do is ask for it and I will grant it to you generously."
And then he was all over her and kissing her. His hand expertly unbuttoned her pajama top and cupped her breast to her panic but she can't act to it for his hot probing kisses distracted her.
Umuga ang kama ng gumalaw si Langdon sa ibabaw niya at idiin ang matigas na kaselanan nito sa puson niya.
Kinagat nito ang dila niya sa loob ng bibig dahilan para mapaungol siya. And then he halted from the kiss to look at her while still trapping her in his embrace.
"I know you like me, Cin. I can easily read your eyes. You try to hide them from me but I know you know it to yourself that you wanted to do this with me for too long. You wanted this, do you? Say you want it. Say you wanted me," he grunted.
More heat flared through her face. She opened her mouth but gulped down whatever vacuum she's about to say.
Iyon ang totoo. Gusto niya ito. Mahal niya ito magmula noong mga bata pa sila.
Nilakasan niya ang loob at tuluyan nang pinalaya ang sarili. Kinabig niya ito at ipinikit ang mga mata saka inilapat ang bibig dito.
Naramdaman pa niya ang pagngiti nito bago tuluyang pinainit ang halik.
Nanigas siya sa kapangahasang ginawa. Bigla siyang nagsisi kaya iniurong di niya ang mukha palayo subalit hindi siya hinayaan ni Langdon.
Pinigtas nito pahubad ang suot niya at walang sinayang na sandali na ipinalit ang kamay nito na humaplos sa kaniyang dibdib, tiyan, pababa hanggang sa magkahugpong niyang hita.
Drunk with lust, Langdon tore her panties into pieces and positioned himself into her. Ni hindi niya namalayang wala na rin itong kahit na anong saplot sa katawan.
"You're the kind of woman mothers would want their son to bring home," he said while panting above her while holding her in place to prevent any movement. "I can't promise anything to you, Cin. This will just be temporary. Just tonight."
Itinaas niya ang kamay sa pisngi nito at buong pagmamahal na ngumiti.
"My glasses. I... I want to see you," she said instead.
He reached for her glasses on the side table and put it on her. Mas luminaw ang mukha nito. His ocean blue eyes glinted in the low light reminding her of the unreasonable reason why she's so into him.
"Nasabi ko na ba sa iyo kung gaano kaganda ang mga mata mo? You made me feel incredible things just by looking at them."
His answer is a hiss and a slow kiss. He moved so the tip of his membrane is on her opening.
"I don't do lovemaking, Cin. Romance and wines. I'm past that s**t. It'll just be quick."
Bumaba ang mukha nito sa naghihintay na mga labi niya na buong puso niyang tinugon.
It happened too fast.
The next thing she knew, he pinned her a little too hard on the bed and took her savagely in one thrust. Nalukot ang mukha niya sa sakit nang tuluyang pagkapilas ng kainosentihan.
He's a little too rough for a virgin like her.
His thrusts are fast and deep and he's not looking at her while he's going in and out of her.
Kinagat niya ang labi dahil sa hapdi. Gusto sana niyang yumakap dito pero bihag nito ang dalawang kamay niya na nakataas sa ulunan.
"Am I too rough on you?" He slowed down his hips and stared at where their bodies joined.
"A... A little..." she replied and panted for air.
Tumigil ito at pinakawalan ang mga kamay niya.
"Will you be contented with just tonight? Maghahabol ka ba sa akin?"
Napalunok siya. Hindi niya naisip ang mangyayari pagkatapos niyang ibigay ang sarili rito. Nahihiyang sinubukan niyang tingnan ito habang pinipigilan ang sariling emosyon.
"Hindi. Kontento na ako, Lang. This... is enough for me."
Hinimas nito ang pisngi niya bago pinatakan ng halik ang noo niya. He resumed rotating his hips against her.
"Good girl," he growled.
He leaned towards her chest and took her one breast into his mouth. She whimpered and writhed in pleasure as Langdon drilled into her and delivered her to the zenith.
Breath after breath with hands roaming around her body, she called for his name over and over again.
Langdon reached orgasm and shoot off his load to the sheets. They collapsed together on the bed right after.
Pagkatapos ng bugso ng init ay ang nakakapanghilakbot na lamig. Nagtangka siyang yakapin ito para makaramdam uli ng init pero bumangon na ito at nagbihis saka
walang paalam na iniwan siya sa kama.
Ibinalot na lang niya ang sarili sa kumot at hinubad ang salamin para pahirin nang mapayapa ang mga luha.
Emptiness filled her being at the shot of a realization.
"Lang, saan ka pupunta?" tawag niya rito nang nakita niyang ibinabalik nito ang baril sa pantalon. Kipkip ang kumot para itabon sa sarili ay umupo siya sa kama.
Akala niya ay tatabihan siya nito, yayakapin at papangakuan ng mga bagay na gustung-gusto niyang marinig mula rito.
Kahit hindi na siya nito panagutan. Kahit man lang ubusin nila ang magdamag na magkasama. Sapat na iyon para sa kaniya.
May dinukot ito mula sa drawer ng side table. Isang bundle ng papel. Pumilas ito ng isa at initsa sa kama. It's a blank cheque.
"Write any amount. Make it big. At least iyong makakapagsimula ka na ulit."
"H-Ha? A-Ano? Bakit?" naguguluhan niyang tanong.
Nagtangka siyang bumangon pero mas kumirot lang ang kaselanan niya kaya napabalik siya ng upo.
Balewalang isinuot nito ang t-shirt bago siya binalingan.
"Your job is done with me. You can go." He dialed a number on the telephone. "Take the lady with you. I'm done with her. Wala na siyang pakinabang sa akin."
Naglaglagan ang mga luha niya sa narinig.
"No, please Lang." Umiling siya ng mas luminaw sa kaniya ang lahat. "No. I'm begging you. Wala na akong mapupuntahan."
He turned to her with his hard unemotional face.
"It's not my problem anymore. Your employment with me is done right now. And as I promised you will be compensated. Put any amount there and you'll get it."
"But what about... Paano ang nangyari sa atin?"
Dumilim ang mukha nito.
"What's this, woman? Akala ko ba hindi ka maghahabol?"
Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kumot. Sa nanginginig na kamay ay ibinaba niya ang salamin para lumabo sa kaniya ang mukha nito.
She can't let this Langdon cloud the beautiful man she's spent time with for days. She wanted the new image of him to reside in her mind.
"Of course, Lang. I... I'm sorry."
Pinahid niya ang hindi matapos-tapos na luha. He heard him sigh.
"This is what you get when you think you can try to change someone. The world is not some fairytale, Cin. It's harsh. It's mean. And you don't get to decide who stays."
Lumapit ito sa kaniya at hinawakan ang tuktok ng ulo niya.
"Forget about me. s*x is the only thing I can give to you and a woman like you deserves more than that."
Ipinikit niya ang mga mata nang lumayo ito sa kaniya at naglakad papunta sa pinto. Isinubsob niya ang mukha sa tuhod at tinakpan ang mga tenga. Hindi niya kayang marinig ang pag-alis nito.
After a few minutes, when it's evident that she's alone in the room, she let go of the tears and bawled silently. Natutok ang paningin niya sa iniwang tseke nito.
"But I'm not trying to change you, Lang. I just want to... love you."