Irrevocably HERS

Chapter Eleven

Four Years Later

Amber

"Testing is over!!" Chrissy says animatedly with so much joy that it makes me laugh. Looking at her now, compared to just a week ago, it is like a massive weight has been lifted off of her shoulders. Making her way through our college years was a bit of a struggle for her. Where I was practically declaring English Lit as my major, she was more of an exploratory college student. She basically jumped from this to that, never finding her forever major. She dabbled here and there, yet there was no fire, no spark of undeniable interest. She did what she could and studied her ass off regardless, and here we are, both officially done with our first wave of final tests before our vacation of our graduating year. I have been done since ten this morning. Unfortunately, for her, she just got done now, which is at almost three in the afternoon.

I watch as she practically skips to where I am sitting, which is basically under my favorite tree, here on the lawn of Washington Square Park. Once by my side, she yanks my air pods out of my ears and squeals like a toddler. I, of course, have to deal with the aftermath of my ears ringing. I can barely hear anything around me, her shrill shriek making me deaf.

"I get you are excited but please, I'd like to keep my hearing thank you very much." I say to her and she just rolls her eyes at me. She finally calms down a bit in order for her body to relax and acclimate to the realization that we are now officially on break. Winter break that is. Yes, the holidays are upon us once again. While everyone in this massive city is going through the hysteria of the joy and bliss, Chrissy and I just do our usual and hunker down, not at all up for the festiveness. Don't get me wrong. We absolutely love the lights spectacular, visiting the Rockefeller Tree, watching the Santa Claus's entertain children and the ones who ring their bell collecting money for charity. We give towards the charities and know exactly what the kids are going through during this time of year. Growing up like Chrissy and I have, we definitely understand the mind set of the children who's one wish is to have a family for the holidays. If I could, I'd foster them. I know, I have always been judgmental of the families who took me in but Sophie was always a sound foster parent. If I were to look up to anybody, it would be her. She never saw us as dollar signs. She always treated us like her own and always made the little ones feel at home, especially on the holidays.

"Look, I, I need to ask you something and you can totally say no but I'd rather you not because then I would have to worry about you being alone, and I would never leave you alone, so..." She says rambling on without even taking a breath. I watch as she fiddles with her leggings and I see she is a nervous wreck over what? I have no clue

"Whoa. Calm down. What's up?" I say wondering why she is so damn frazzled all of a sudden.

"Reeve reached out a few days ago. Yeah, I know. Don't fall down the rabbit hole again but, we have been talking, kissing, fornicating, you know, but this time, this year, he offered to take us to his family's house for Christmas dinner. If you say no than I will immediately call him and say absolutely not. Not like he hasn't celebrated the holidays alone for the past few years. " She says, already plucking her cell out of her pocket, thoroughly convinced of my answer.

Reeve and Chrissy.

That's a long story to tell, and really not my story to tell but, in a few words, they continued to be the vomit inducing lovey dovey couple and dated all the way up to our sophomore year, but then things took a turn for the unimaginable and quite frankly, stupid. They, more like Reeve but I'll never say that out loud, both felt that the world was too big a place that they needed to explore before committing to each other for life, so they decided to do the whole college experience as friends, rather than lovers and yeah, it didn't go as planned. They both still harbored feelings for each other but both were to prideful to back down from their negotiation.

With his rising popularity and Chrissy's schedule and classes being all chaotic, they fell out of sync, having kept their relationship platonic, always being a true friend to one another, yet neither of them have been with anyone else. You'd think they'd go for it with someone new, but they can't seem to move on from each other. I mean yeah they were seen with other people here and there, each sporting jealousy scowls at one another, yet still they did nothing about it. Now that school is only a few short months away from being over, Reeve, I can see is finally coming to his senses. The pressure of it all is slowly dying and he must want more knowing she is the only one to hold his heart. I'm not going to hold out any hope of myself being called her maid of honor anytime soon, but the fact that he invited her back to his hometown for Christmas means a lot, especially to her which is why I could never say no to her request.

"It's really not up to me silly. Reeve is your it guy. Why would you need my okay to go back there? I mean I get why you are making sure I'd go but you don't have to. If you want to go then go. I can always stay here. I'm not going to hold you back. I'd never do that to you. Don't worry Chrissy. Netflix and I will be together." I say and she just shakes her head adamantly.

"You don't go, I don't go. Remember that you and me, we're a team. I am not leaving you alone. Especially not on Christmas and New Years!" She says and I sigh.

"Okay." I say as she looks at me skeptically but when I give her a smile, she claps her hands together and squeals, yet again. There goes my hearing.

"You know I love you right?" She says, slamming into me, hugging me almost cracking my ribs and knocking me down onto the grass.

"Yes and I love you too. Let's go spend the holidays with your lover boy and maybe I can date Netflix up there." I say back to which she laughs and then grins wider than a Cheshire Cat.

After packing like we were going away for a decade, Reeve came by to pick us up. It's a pretty long drive from NYU to Pike County so I decide to close my eyes and listen to my music. A car door slamming outside my window wakes me from my slumber and I see that we have parked by a diner that looks oddly familiar. I remembered it from when I used to live here. I would always pass it on my way to school.

"Hey Reeve, uh, your dashboard light thingie is on. Was it on the whole way over here?" Chrissy says before hopping out of the car. I store my air pods away and exit the car only to feel as if my legs are like jello. I stretch and shake out my legs because I am two seconds away from dropping. I need blood to run through my leg veins. Pronto.

"Yeah, damn things been giving me a problem. I was praying it would hold out until we got here, which thankfully it did. Also didn't want to worry you. I'll bring it to the local shop and then we can walk to my parents house. Dad says the mechanic there is pretty good and it is fairly close by." Reeve says while walking into the diner, holding the door open for us. We decide to take a booth towards the back and almost instantly, a young girl saunters over carrying menus for us to look at. Right now, everything smells divine and it is making my stomach rumble.

"Welcome. I'll be your waitress. Would you like anything to drink?" She says sweetly and we place coffee orders. By the time she comes back with them, we give her our orders and wait. I decide for the pancakes while Reeve and Chrissy order eggs and bacon.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. Haven't seen your grumpy ass in a few days. Looks like you came in to brighten my day with your handsome scowl." Says another waitress who looks to be a smidge older who is working behind the counter holding a pot of coffee for said gentleman who walked in.

"Morning to you too and ease on the sarcasm. It's been a long night. Mind if I get a coffee to go. Late for work even though I'm my own damn boss." The guy says after grunting with the voice of a certain someone I thought I had long forgotten about. Once a grump, always a grump I suppose. Who knew he'd still be here. Yeah, that's a total lie. We all seen this coming from a mile ahead. Just wasn't expecting him to blast from the past so suddenly.

"Sure thing grumpypants. Would you like an apple crumb muffin with that? Maybe it'll swipe the go f**k yourself look you are always sporting off your face for a change." She says as I watch her flirt her ass off with him because if the look in her eyes is any indication, then I know she is trying to get a rise out of him for a reason. I raise the menu over my face that the waitress left on the table quickly when he takes a glance around so that I wouldn't be spotted. Luckily Reeve and Chrissy are facing my direction. He hasn't seen any of us in years. Good thing he never bothered memorizing the backs of their heads.

"Not today and I do not have a go f**k yourself look on my face. Even if I did, it'd be for a reason because everything just pisses me off." He says as he places money on the counter.

"Sorry, resting b***h face is more like it." She says which makes me laugh. I continue to watch their banter as she brings him his coffee as her fingers graze along his a beat longer than normal. Of course, my damn mind wants nothing to do with him, yet my heart, that damn organ feels like it's being torn apart yet again. I won't lie. Hunter looks good. Like really good. No more is the eighteen year old boy I loved. Standing by the counter is a man. One with tattoos on his arm, and muscles stretching his shirt. He's wearing a vest which is stupid because it is like below twenty up here this time of year. Guess he has no regard to his health.

Our waitress pulls me out of my fixed stare on the guy who shredded my heart to pieces by placing my food down in front of me.

"Please let me know if you need anything else." She says and I smile. I hear the bell over the door jingle and see it closing. Phew. That was a close one. Eyeing him from a distance is so much better than up close. I don't know how I would react if he were right in front of me. Once we are done and our stomachs are satisfied, we make our way out and back into the car.

"Here. Let me drop my car off here and then we'll walk to my house." Reeve says as he makes a left and pulls into Sam's Auto Repair Shop. I watch as he makes his way out of the car, heading straight for the open garage where some guy is working on a motorcycle. Chrissy and I follow along, thanking the weather for actually being cooperative. It should be blistering cold and snowing but it is actually not. Reeve begins speaking to the guy who was busy working on the motorcycle and I watch as his face brightens with shock.

"Holy s**t! Reeve? What the hell! How you doing man? How are things?" The guy says as Chrissy and I both slowly walk up to where they are. The mechanic looks familiar and it takes me a while to figure out that we went to school with him. He was one of Reeve's dumbass friends, you know, the joker of the group. He was a clown back then and seems he kept the attitude. He may have been a dummy back then but he was the good kind. Always respected everybody and he didn't care who came from where. Everybody was equal in his eyes.

"Bossman! Come down here! Look who came back into town for the holidays!" Tyler, I believe his name yells. I watch a figure walk down the steps and once his face is in view, Chrissy grips my hand and squeezes it. I gulp down and make sure I look through him and not at him because if I look into his eyes, I'll be a goner. I try to suppress the emotions threatening to spill out of me. Why did I come back? Why?

"Amber?" He says to which Tyler laughs.

"Nah man. It's Reeve! Where the hell did you get the name of....wait...oh shit." Tyler says as he looks to where I am standing, now realizing the gang is finally back together, and I swear you can hear a pin drop. I refuse to stay here. Nope. I'm out.

"I'm just going to go. You guys stay and catch up. I'll meet you at your house Reeve." I say and quickly walk away only to be followed, hearing the crunching of the ground under his shoes. Hunter catches up to me quite easily and comes to stand in front of me, purposely blocking my path and any chance of getting far away from him is now null and void.

"s**t Amber. You look...." He says as I watch his eyes snake up my body. It shouldn't give me chills. It just shouldn't. Traitorous body of mine.

"No need for compliments Hunter. I'd say it was great seeing you again but that would be a total lie so I'm just going to keep walking and forget this moment." I say as I side step him but he moves quickly to block me.

"Hunter." I say in a warning tone.

"I never thought I'd see you again okay. Sue me for being f*****g happy and shocked. Am I dreaming?" He says as he moves his hand up to touch my face but my hand immediately has a mind of its own and smacks his face, hard. Never got a chance to back then, the day he s**t on our future, if there even was a future to have since he ghosted me.

"Is that real enough for you?" I say more determined than ever to get the hell away from him. He knew exactly what he did to me was going to cost him. I fled the moment my eyes saw him and whoever in bed together. After not being back to the house for five days, I never could have imagined that being with someone else was what he was doing. I had constantly, over and over, blamed myself for what happened that day. I cried every night for a good month from all the pain that was in my heart. The worst part of it all was the fact that he showed kindness to the new girl yet was a total jackass to me when I had moved in. Present a new specimen and the guy will just leap at the chance to get into her pants. Little by little I found the courage to move on with my life. I didn't feel the need to blame myself anymore because I figured it is what it is. He always wanted a way out so there it was. The perfect excuse to have me hate him and to run far far away.

"Is everything okay over here?" Reeve says from behind me and I just continue to glare daggers at Hunter.

"Everything's fine. You done with Tyler? Can we go to your parents house now?" I say with what I want to be a strong tone but I know I am failing miserably. I feel Reeve slide up on my right side and Chrissy on my left. They've got me. Always have and always will.

"Yeah, let's go. The car needs to stay a few days but will definitely be ready by the time we go home." Reeve says next to me while Hunter just watches with what I want to say is hurt eyes but I think it's all an act. I can't believe a single thing for him. What he did doesn't deserve my forgiveness.

"Amber. Can't we talk? Please? Allow me to explain. I never got a chance to since you left immediately after. Do you know how much I was hurting? Do you know how much I realized that I needed you more than I needed to breathe?" He says with such a sorrowful expression but my anger that has been building inside my veins is at the point where it all explodes like a volcano eruption. I step closer to him but he doesn't falter. He remains stock still.

"Explain? Explain?! After all these years, you want to explain how you tore my heart out of my chest and stomped on it? How you can go and practically shout across the rooftop that I am irrevocably yours one second and the next, the next you find yourself a replacement all because I applied to college? All because I wanted to do something for me that I know my parents would have wanted me to do?! No. No Hunter. You don't get to explain yourself to me. I knew what it was. It was all part of your grand design, scheme, whatever you call it. You never wanted anyone to have your heart so instead of having me break yours you decided to break mine. It was an easy out for you. You didn't want to even consider trying to maintain a relationship! There was no happily ever after for us. There was no future because you were too much of an asshole to ever consider loving me from afar, loving my decisions of wanting more for my life. You took every fiber of my love for you and ground it up in a damn blender. You made me love you. You made me try to feel emotions that I never thought could be possible to feel after only ever feeling abandoned and lost. You made me offer my heart to you on a golden platter only to decimate it right in front of me. I never want to see you. Hear you. Know of you. Like I said that day. You win. You always f*****g win." I exclaim only to have Chrissy reach out for me and pull me away. I smash my face into her chest and begin to ugly cry. I am ashamed he brought me to this level. I am so embarrassed but I can't stop the tears. I'm back to where I was. Great.

"Shh. I got you. I got you." She says and kisses my head. My eyes are extremely watery and all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die. I hear heavy footsteps behind me but Chrissy immediately launches herself between myself and him, throwing me behind her, protecting me from the Big Bad Wolf.

"Take this as another win Hunter. Go live your life. She will continue to live hers. She has me and she has Reeve, and one day, she will have someone to love her like she so rightfully deserves. You allowed yourself to lose the best thing that will ever happen to you and I pity you. This girl right here has always worn her heart on her sleeve and never failed to show me or Reeve how much she loves us yet you took the outrageous amount of love she had for you and f****d it all up because of your selfishness and for a piece of ass. Was it really worth it? Do you know how many guys vie for her attention on campus? Any one of those asshats are ten times the man you are. You make me sick." Chrissy spews out with such venom and damn. Reeve eyes her with awe.

"I know I f****d up. I wasn't holding out hope for her to ever return here or for me to ever see her again regardless of wherever I was but now that she is here I need to make this right. Come on Chrissy. I was a f*****g dumb kid then. I've had four years to regret my actions. She's back and I'm going to prove that I can be her forever again." Hunter belts out and it shatters me even more because it is all just lies. Chrissy goes to speak but it is Reeve who responds.

"Look where we are at Hunter. The girl that just unleashed every bit of heartache to you isn't the same girl any more. She found a way to continue living. She doesn't need your half assed apologies or excuses. What she needed was the love and devotion you promised her. What she needs now is us. We got it from here. I'll be by in a few days to pick up my car. Have a good life Hunter but if you value your life, you will make damn sure to stay away from her. She deserves everything under the sun and you definitely will never live up to that expectation." Reeve says while Chrissy walks me away with Reeve sliding up to my side and grabbing my hand and squeezing. I can feel his assurance of what had just happened and I know that because I have the both of them, I will be okay. I chance a peek behind me and see Hunter still standing there looking absolutely gutted.

Welcome to my world.